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Thursday, September 23, 2010


I have this malady whereby things just pop up in my mind without trying to think about them.

My first reaction is “Where did that come from?” Most of the time, it is something from the past with little relevance to my life now. It was just something that happened and I moved on past it. Sometimes it was a bigger event, and then I am forced to relive part of it. If it is a pleasant occurrence I enjoy trying to remember some of the finer details, but if it was unpleasant I have to experience the hurt all over again.

The worst time to have this happen is when you are trying to go to sleep, it won’t turn you loose, and it grinds away on you and can make you sick.

I try to short circuit my thought pattern and move on to something else. For awhile I bounce back and forth between the bad memory and the new thought I have brought up, until finally my interest level squelches the bad memory.

The best of us has had some unpleasant experiences, and it seems they are hiding, ready to pounce on us again.

So, what do you do with bad memories? It depends upon the seriousness of the happening. If it is an insignificant thing, just put it in the business as usual, category, things happen. It is a “so what” issue, let’s forget it and move on.

Perhaps if it is a little more of a mid-level gaffe, and needs closure. Contemplating the old adage, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” should give you a guideline for the healing process. If you are the one offended, be open to reconciliation, but don’t wait for the offending party to act. It may be time to move on by them and consider them unimportant in your scheme of things. If later they wish to redeem themselves, you can afford to be gracious enough to be civil but move on.

Then there are those things that cause you to be obsessed over. It could be something you have done, and had severe repercussions that lead to guilt and remorse. Then you must do something to meditate the issue. It may need immediate action or the dust may need to settle for awhile before taking action.

The most outstanding thing about the past is “It is past.” There is nothing you can do about it, one way or another. If it was good, enjoy the memories, if it was painful then refuse all future suffering from something you can’t correct. Saying you’re sorry may help an offended party feel better but it doesn’t change the facts.

Being sorry is helpful when it is used as a learning tool, but you have to get in the, “I’ll never do that again,” mode.

This seems like a lot to remember and further a lot to do. The next time I can’t sleep I’m going to forget all this stuff and just to take a melatonin pill that should take care of it, and then I’m just gonna let it all go.


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