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Sunday, September 30, 2012


One of the key players in the demise of America was the culture propagated in the sixties, and the so called sexual revolution along with the Anti-Christ philosophy that was taught in the Universities across our land.
Is encouraged by the God-Less Society

The Christian faith was constantly under attack by atheist professors.  Kids just out of high school were demeaned in every way possible from not having sex to not being a dope user. The children were not prepared for this onslaught of demonic doctrine.

The New York Times reports that more than half of the births to American women under thirty are illegitimate, born to unmarried women most of which have no interest in the man who got them pregnant.

Many of these women have children by more than one non-supporting man and consider them not to be marriageable material.

There is pseudo outrage when anyone speaks out against this family damaging conduct.

The new product of the sixties was a new morality where one out of three girls became pregnant at least once before reaching age 20, most of which was outside of wedlock. About 75% of blacks, 53% of Latinos and 30% of whites have bastard children, and they suffer all that results from this beginning.

The Vietnam war was a rallying cry of those who espoused drugs and sexual freedom along equality for women, but that was just a cover for the unregenerate heart of these people.

Today we see the result of ever expanding degeneracy where same sex relationships are ever increasing.  It isn’t obvious to those who have been taken captive by the ploys of Satan the degree of offence it is to GOD and they aren’t sure HE exists any way due to the teachings they have received.

Sad to say this attitude of acceptance and tolerance of sinful lifestyles has invaded the organized church and the membership is divided on some subjects.

Elijah felt alone when Israel went after other gods but GOD told him that there was a remnant that stayed true to HIM. 

In this conglomerate Christianity of today, there are those who have stayed true to our Christian beliefs and will continue to stay on track regardless of decisions others make.

It would seem to be condescending to say we feel sorry for those who have chosen not to serve Christ.  Nevertheless after experiencing redemption one cannot but hope their eyes will be opened to the reality of what it means to be a true born again Christian.


Saturday, September 29, 2012


Folsom Prison Gate
courtesy google search
Folsom State Prison is California's second-oldest prison, long known for its harsh conditions in the decades following the California Gold Rush. Although FSP now houses primarily medium security prisoners, FSP was one of America's first maximum-security prisons.

 Construction of the facility began in 1878 on the site of the Stony Bar mining camp along the American River. The prison officially opened in 1880.  Folsom was built to hold 1,800 inmates. Inmates spent most of their time in the dark behind solid boiler plate doors in stone cells measuring 4 feet by 8 feet (1.2 by 2.4 m) with 6 inch (150 mm) eye slots. Air holes were drilled into the cell doors in the 1940s, and the cell doors are still in use today.

FSP was the first prison in the world to have electric power, which was provided by the first hydroelectric powerhouse in California.

After the State of California took sole control of the death penalty in 1891, executions were held at Folsom and at San Quentin State Prison. A total of 93 prisoners were hanged at FSP between December 13, 1895, and December 3, 1937, after which executions were carried out in the gas chamber at California's San Quentin State Prison. WIKIPEDIA

With that bit of history this story is about my trip to Folsom. Over the years I had played the string bass for groups and at church. A friend who organized a gospel quartet was invited to come and sing at Folsom Prison and he wanted me to go along and play bass for them. When we arrived, the place it had a foreboding atmosphere and my uneasiness started there. After the usual delay the chaplain came and led us into the prison itself. The music was to be held in the church area of the prison but to get there we had to walk through the prisoners themselves.

As we walked down a long corridor the guard indicated for the prisoners to move to the wall area and let us pass through.

As we sauntered by the prisoners, they gave us their threatening leer, a look of hate. Of course they were trying to intimidate us as we walked by and it worked pretty good for me.

Many of these people were murderers and others who would kill if they thought it was necessary to rob and steal. I was glad to get to the chapel for there was a different feel in that place. The service went well with some of the prisoners joining in on some of the hymns and they enjoyed the quartet songs.  One of the singers was a minister and he preached a simple message and prayed for them.

There wasn't any of what is called personal work for the access to the prisoners was limited. For some reason I never thought about genuine Christians being locked up into prison but I met some who had made mistakes and were given sentences, some for a long time.

While I was glad we went I wasn't at ease until we were far away from there.

One thing that happened was while I was talking to the chaplain a prisoner came up and said his goodbye for he was getting out tomorrow. After he left the chaplain said; he'll be back, I have had him in a couple of other prisons. He just can't make it on the outside, in here he is a trustee and has status. He will spend the rest of his life in and out of prison.

These are some of the words of a song written by an inmate

Inside the walls of prison, my body may be,
But the Lord has set my soul free...
There's a Grey stone chapel here at Folsom,
A house of worship in this den of sin.
You wouldn't think God had a place at Folsom,
But he's saved the soul of many lost men.

We later went to San Quentin where there had been a murder the night before.  Getting into there was more complicated and we were checked out more carefully.

The Chaplain said last week they discovered a "still" brewing some whiskey in the chapel. They had cut the bottom out of an old fire extinguisher and put a plastic bag in it filled with stuff they had gotten from the kitchen. It was discovered when it began to smell.

We ministered there and afterwards ate with the staff. They served a good meal anchored by some fried steak.

Prison isn't a nice place to be even for a visit. There are many well known prisons such as San Quentin, Alcatraz, Folsom, and the worst of all is the Prison of Sin.

But the good news is there is a pardon provided by Jesus, for all who will accept it.

This post is Linked with Charlotte’s Spiritual Sundays

Also Linked up with Michelle’s Hear it on Sunday


DARRELL'S WOES Chapter Fourteen

Day Dreaming
This last chapter will bring you up to date on me and my life so far. I have only been able to relate things as they came to memory for little was written down.

On my day off I went shopping at the mall and there I was meeting people I hadn't seen for many years. I wondered why they had returned to town since they had moved on to greener pastures, and it came to me this was the weekend of the twentieth year reunion of our high school class.

The only reason I knew was because it was on the front page of the paper.

Then I met one of the old classmates, a woman who was in charge of organizing the reunion's events and she handed me a form to fill out and the request for money for there were some bills to be paid. I told her I didn't know if I would be there, but would give her a check anyway.

She lit into me about school pride and by the time she was finished I was signed up to help with the decorations, and promised to show up at least for a little while.

While still smarting from the dressing down I just received, I ran into one of Lori's old friends who over the years had kept in contact with her.

Immediately she started telling me about Lori, and I was a little interested since I hadn't heard anything of her since she had married.  For the next hour she went on first talking about Lori and then gossiping about others in our class.  She had all the news and I tried to piece together what she had said about Lori.

I tried to tell myself that I wasn't really interested - - but I had been soaking in every word.

It seems Lori had gotten married and at the insistence of the in-laws she in a short time had birthed two boys. The doting grandparents were constantly spoiling the boys so much that mom was looked at as the tyrant when ever she tried to discipline them. The grandparents took the boys everywhere, even to Europe over Lori's protests, but the husband would say, "Just take them, go," and that was the way they grew up.

Our friend went on and said the husband had taken up with a younger woman and wanted and got a divorce.  Lori received a large settlement but the boys wanted to live with their dad and his wife who was just a little older than they were.  She finally agreed to this because they wouldn't respect her, and it would only be a chaotic situation.

The last thing my classmate said before she sailed off looking for a new victim was; “She is still single and not dating anyone and is coming to the reunion.”

This last piece of information caused me to rethink about going to the reunion and the dance that followed.  I didn't know if I was up to meeting Lori again after all this time. I figured she would be a different person than the one I knew years ago.  She might not want to see me and as I played out different scenarios my mind, I took me on an involuntary trip back to the past when I first laid eyes on her.

As you may recall it was in the middle of my High School junior year when she enrolled in school.
Her family was affluent and she had been in private school. The night that she came to the school dance with her hair cut like the little Dutch boy on paint cans.  Her braces had a couple more months before they came off and she had on heavy black horn rimmed glasses and to top it off she wore a too big baggy dress which went down to her ankles.  She simply wanted to see just what kind of response she would get.

When she came in she went and sat with the wallflowers and waited.  Every so often the matron in charge would send one of the boys over to pick out one of wallflower girls to dance with.  An hour passed and she still sat there.

I was sitting across the large auditorium and couldn't really see her face but decided to go over and give her a mercy dance. As I related before I didn't look at her face but just extended my hand while looking away.  I knew I would really get it from the other boys tomorrow but I did it anyhow for I thought it was a nice thing to do.
As I led her out on the floor the other boys were looking at me and grinning.  I started to place my hand on her waist and to take our first steps, but she grabbed me and pulled herself against me and we danced away.  I realized there was more to her than I first thought. She was light on her feet, knew all the steps, and I spent the evening dancing just with her.

Thinking about all of this had mesmerized me and it gave me a start when someone asked me "Are you all right?" 

I said sure, I was just daydreaming.

As I thought of the times past and about the special person I had spent time with, my heart strings were caused to play a melody where there had only been discord for several years.

I didn't know if I would have the nerve to speak with her, for any hint of rejection would be more than I wanted to deal with. The best I could hope for was there would remain some vestige of the person I once knew remaining.

The reunion night arrived and my girls came over and checked me out carefully. They wanted me to put on some after shave lotion and I said, “No,” but finally gave in and said, "Just a little," as they doused it on me.

Oh well, they were my babies and they embarrassed me as I left by saying "Go get them dad."

The happy hour was in full swing when I arrived and some of the "mates" were already slurring their speech and becoming obnoxious. I moved away from the no-host bar where I conversed with some of the people I hated back in the school days and also a few friends.

The orchestra was in place and the dance started.  During the first few minutes some of the old partners I danced with wanted to dance with me and I must admit I was a little rusty but finally the steps came back to me.  I went back and sat against the wall just watching as the people danced by.

Soon I noticed a woman come in who looked out of place for her hair was short and straight.  She had horn rimmed glasses on, and her dress looked like it came from the Salvation Army, for it was baggy and came down to her ankles.  She sat where the wallflower girls sat.

I couldn't see her clearly for the people were dancing by me and blocking my view. I got up and worked my way through the dancing couples toward this pitiful looking person for a better look. As I neared her she looked up and I knew who it was.  I looked directly into Lori's eyes and thought to myself, “No, I couldn't passionately love three different women, but I could love two.”  
All is Well
courtesy google search

Without speaking I extended my hand to her which she took. We stepped out on the floor and I took her hand and placed my other hand on her waist.
Then she put her arms around my neck, drew herself too tight to me and laid her head on my shoulder and all was right with the world once again.




Friday, September 28, 2012


Chemistry Lab
Courtesy Stock clip art Google Search

Three weeks after Kaylee's passing I decided to return to work, for the solitude that I at first desired had become somewhat oppressive, and I needed to occupy my mind with something other than my loss.

Catching up with the research that was going on was the most important thing for me to do.  Research can change quickly, and I spent much of my time experimenting for new product development.

At night, when alone, I was still haunted by all that I had lost.

Finally I submitted to some counseling which gave me some new avenues of thinking, but what I really needed was an emotional lift.

Three years passed ever so slowly and my girls were growing up and were just short of teenage womanhood.  I was so thankful for their aunt who could deal with issues that accompany the early teens.  Truly I would have been so inadequate for that task.  Biology I knew, anatomy I knew, but the emotional psyche of a teen age girl was beyond my abilities.

My girls felt more grown up than they were, for when we were together they would try to boss me around.  It was “Get a haircut Dad, get some new clothes, get someone to clean this house and you are not eating right.” 

At least we were close and had a good relationship. I never tried to interfere with the way they were being raised for their aunt was a gentle taskmaster and they love her and obeyed her with very little argument.

Bossing Dad
courtesy Google search
At times when they were over I must have seemed lonely and all three of them would ask me if I was dating or had a girlfriend.  They seemed to thrive on giving me a bad time about not going out with anyone. 
It was, “Dad you are still young, you need some female company; mom would want you to get remarried.”  
I would just shrug it off and laughingly say, “I don't need any more females telling me what to do.”

The fact was I just wasn't interested in anyone that I met. There were several divorcees I knew that were available but they were not for me.  

Here I was just about forty and there had been two women that I had loved passionately, and at times I wondered if it was possible there could ever be a third.

My conclusion always was "I don't think so." My life was finally coming together and I didn't need any new complications.

To be concluded


Thursday, September 27, 2012


courtesy free
The girls now ages ten and eight, were quickly growing up.  My darling wife, Kaylee wasn't getting any better though she was trying her best, but the running of the house and the care of the girls was getting to be more than she could handle.  I hired a part time aide to take care of the cleaning, and laundry so everything was kept up.  Meanwhile the girls were spending a lot of time at their aunt's ranch. They loved it out there with their cousin and the three of them just being cowgirls.

Girl Driving a Tractor
courtesy google search
Uncle fixed up an old pickup and showed them how to drive it out in a big field. He locked it a low gear and put a lock on the carburetor linkage so they could only go about ten miles an hour. Sometimes they would spend most of the day taking turns driving that thing.

Uncle had a method to his madness for as they progressed he taught them how to run all of the farm equipment and when planting or harvest time came around, they were able to work and more importantly earn their own money. It was hands off of their money for they spent it any way they wanted.

Then came the time I had been dreading. The call to 911, the waiting, the doctor coming and him saying, "I'm sorry there is no more to be done." Those last moments while sitting with Kaylee drained me to the point where I felt there was nothing left of me.
The end came fast and I was spared enduring hours and days waiting for the inevitable. Arrangements were made with a funeral home and the hospital took care of calling them.

The next task was very difficult for I had to tell the girls.  I wanted to do it in person though I had alerted my sister-in-law to the seriousness of the situation.   I hurried to the ranch where they were staying with Auntie and Uncle.
As gently as I could I told them their mother had gone to heven, and they ran to their auntie for comfort, she was almost like a second mother to them.

I spent the night at the ranch and the next morning I called my employer and explained how devastated I was. He expressed his condolences and told me to take a month or more off until I had coped with my loss.

My sister-in-law came to see how I was doing.  She knew how difficult it would be for both me and the girls without Kaylee, and told me she wanted the girls to live with her permanently. 

Realizing that this would be best for the girls to be in a stable environment, I reluctantly agreed.  Actually they had been staying about half the time with Auntie and Uncle anyway.  After the funeral,
I brought the girls home, and talked about the future and asked what they wanted to do. I explained about bringing in a housekeeper who would look after them or they could live with their aunt. They both quickly said; "Auntie.” I knew this would be their choice but I thought it would be better if they had an option where they could make their own decision.

For the next few weeks I tried to get back to a new normal but without Kaylee and the girls it was a hollow existence.  Once or twice a week, I went out to the ranch to visit my girls and took all three girls (my two daughters and their cousin) to some events they could enjoy.   
To be Continued


Wednesday, September 26, 2012


Wedding Doves
courtesy google search
Everything now revolved around Kaylee and me, and our plans were in place for our future together.  

We were both working on our master's degree and were employed part time.
Finally I was able to get reliable transportation and that was a time saver.  As graduation approached we made final plans for our marriage. It would be a church wedding albeit not too elaborate. She bought a white wedding dress which in her case meant something.

We both received our master's without much fanfare and the wedding day had finally arrived. All I can remember clearly about the wedding was Kaylee coming down the aisle and taking my hand. Then after a few words that stated what was in our hearts we were married and our life as one began.

At last I had a little free time even though I was working, and I read about new theories, facts and fiction relating to chemistry, little things like furnishing our house and planting flowers became important. 

In the forefront was that we made time for each other.  We were committed to one another before marriage, but now there were new dimensions to enjoy which took up much of our time.

The long struggle to prepare for life was behind me, and currently I was advancing in my job; my marriage was steadfast and after four years of martial bliss I became a father.

I was stunned to say the least. I had nine months to prepare for this event but the reality was much more than I had hoped for.  “It's a girl,” I was told and she was as pretty as her mom or at least I thought so.

Then two years later Kaylee repeated a similar event and they told me. "It's a girl."  I thought to myself, “This is like a rerun.”  The baby was doing well although Kaylee had some problems and they kept her in the hospital a few more days.

Finally I was glad to have mother and daughter home and a sister-in-law willing to help out. Kaylee’s sister had taken our first child out to her husband’s ranch and since she had a daughter the same age as mine our child wasn't lonely.

After some weeks Kaylee was up and around and working on motherhood. Having two children made things more interesting is one way to put it. Another way is that it more than doubles the necessary work.  Two kids crying at once is one example.  
Our life was good, the kids were growing but Kaylee seemed to be somewhat frail and easily tired.

The doctor just said; "Get more rest" but that wasn't easily accomplished.  Kaylee remained about the same for the next few years and we were happy and enjoyed each others company.  

Lori was a distant memory and I never thought of her unless I overheard some friend mention her during a casual conversation.  
It seems that some of her mother's old circle of friends kept in contact and passed on news from time to time.    
To be Continued


Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Studying Hard
I was finishing Jr. College and preparing to move up to State College when a better job came my way.

Being a science major, the chemical company hired me to do some of the menial tasks freeing up their chemists to concentrate on weightier matters.  The job paid me twice what the burger place did and I needed the money.

My folks had saved some money for my college but a couple of emergencies had depleted most of those funds.  It was work I could do on the weekends and after my classes. Once again I didn't have much play time, but on occasion I could get free.  Even after two years I still grieved over losing Lori. In reality I couldn't lose something I never had and that made it more difficult to accept.

One thing my relationship with Lori did was to cause girls to look at me differently.   They now concluded there must be something about me that wasn't apparent before, and I was careful not to ruin that illusion.  

From time to time I would be asked to go out for a dinner and a dance. This seemed strange because the girls insisted on paying. Sometimes there would be a local dance contest and I would get several offers to partner up with one of them.  Sometimes we would win and other times not, depending on the judges bias. In any case it was fun and something to do to break up the routine I was forced to keep.

In the first year at State college I became attracted to a really nice and intelligent young woman named Kaylee.  I had noticed her at the church I attended on occasion.  Eventually I managed to engage her in a conversation and pursued her as much as possible without being too obvious.  During the rest of this year we did many things together and we became what you might call a couple.

The one thing I never did was to compare her to Lori because it really couldn't be done. Times were different; I was different and my memories were not to be depended on. Memories have a way of embellishing or to pale a past experience.

Time passed, I received my B.A. Degree and then I had to make several decisions although they were all connected.  The chemical company made me an offer for full employment at an excellent salary.

The conflict was that I had applied for a scholarship and got it so I could attend the university and work toward a master's degree in chemistry.   Decisions needed to be made.

By now I was completely in love with Kaylee and was ready for the next step which for us which was marriage. She was perfect for me and I didn't want to lose her.  

After talking it over we decided we would get married but put it off for one year. She wanted to get her masters degree and felt it would be best to do it now. I would continue working at my part time job and go to the university. This seemed like the most logical solution but emotionally it was difficult to do.

One day, I received a bit of news that for some reason hurt me; Lori had got married into some rich family. I guess there was some remnant left from the past.   

To be Continued


Monday, September 24, 2012


Courtesy free clip art
The next week was busy with a couple of tests to complete although all of our grades were registered by now, and graduation was just around the corner. 

Lori's parents kept her so occupied that I didn't get to talk to her very much.  We saw each other just as we walked from one class to another and the prom was never brought up.

Then it was graduation day, getting our gowns, practicing walking in while Pomp and Circumstance was playing and I was glad when it was over.

We had talked about which college would be nice to attend but she never told me where she was going.  I kinda assumed she would go to the local junior college and then transfer to State but I forgot that her parents were quite affluent and could afford any school of higher learning.

After practice she came over to me and said she wanted to tell me something she had been putting off.  Her parents had put in an application to a major university for women and she had been accepted. It was near Boston and she would only be home for some of the holidays.

I wasn't expecting this and didn't act too happy.  She said it wasn't her doing but there wasn't anything she could do about it. I told her that I understood and hoped it went well for her.   Her family went on a month's vacation and when she got back they were planning the next year’s activities which didn't include me. The day she was leaving she called me and wanted to say goodbye so we met for a short time.

I must say I was overcome by my emotions and wasn't on my best behavior. This probably caused her to cut short our meeting. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and then was gone.  Later I felt so bad about my conduct that I almost cried. I called her up to apologize but she had already left and that empty feeling stayed with me for months.

Jr. College started for me, and because of the heavy load, and I was still flipping hamburgers there was little time to think about anything else.

I heard Lori was coming home for thanksgiving and hoped to see her then. I called her when she got home and asked to meet her for lunch and she said okay. We talked about our school days and people we knew.  As our visit went on I could see that a great change had taken place in her and she had a level of sophistication that was never there before.  
Without realizing it she was talking down to me and I was taken aback by it.

After lunch we said goodbye and wished each other well.  She said she would be tied up at Christmas and probably wouldn't be able to see me. I thought it was just as well for I didn't need another treatment like I had just experienced.

Her parents put their house up for sale and moved close to where Lori was attending school so they could socialize with other parents and participate in the school activities that included parents. I never admitted it, but I think I was in love with her and I missed the old Loretta.   
To be Continued - -
This post has been linked with Jenn at: Mercy Mondays and
Monday with Laura at:  Play Dates With God at the Wellspring

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image courtesy

Heathen: One who is regarded as irreligious, uncivilized, or unenlightened, is unacquainted with the true God 
Today the heathen has tried to upgrade his status by calling himself an Atheist with portfolio. Some of the nosiest atheist today are associated with the arts.

 Some famous atheists are: John Lennon, Jack Nicholson, Jodie Foster, Sigmond Freud, A.J. Ayer, John Dewey, Emma Goldman, David Hume, Thomas Henry Huxley, Karl Marx, Thomas Paine, Ayn Rand, Carl Sagan, Margaret Sanger, Jean-Paul Sartre, Clarence Darrow, Madelyn Murray-O-Hair, Isaac Asimov, Ron Reagan, George Bernard Shaw, H.G. Wells, Woody Allen, George Carlin, Katherine Hepburn, George Meyer, Gene Roddenberry, Robert Smith, Douglas Adams, Richard Dawkins, Paul McCartney, Christopher Hitchens, Bruce Willis, and Joseph Stalin. (Wiki)

The strength of atheist is the power to argue, to counter any argument against their viewpoint. The power of their intellect has squelched their spiritually and it lies dormant within but is still there, alive, waiting to be discovered.

To be a true atheist, he must be totally given over to the proclamation of his belief system, to be an evangelist so to speak.  One might consider their system unscientific for to prove their theories (there is no God) they must be able to reach beyond the grave and if successful in doing that it would open the possibility of that which is supernatural, an existence beyond the grave.

The common denominator between Christianity and Atheism is that both are faith based; Two belief systems that contradict each other at every point.

When both cases are put forward with their evidence neither on the surface can be proven except in the court of human experience.  I am quite satisfied to allow the Atheist to be convinced in his own mind that he has taken the right way to wisdom and by the same token the true Christian should be allowed the same grace.

It would be unfair for me to judge an experience I have never had but should be freely able to enjoy that which is daily on going and is that which is beyond the intellectual, whose reality is in the realm of the spiritual. All arguments for and against each position can be succinctly stated but one seems to be they have exchanged the spiritual for the intellectual and the other the spiritual with the intellectual.

Many who were considered to be great on the stage of human endeavor have declared themselves to be an Atheist but should they be able to speak from the grave would their theories still be the same?

There is no one who has experienced the new birth that will deny the existence of his GOD. The experience of the new birth for the Christian is the proof that sustains the faith of the believer.

This post is Linked with Charlotte’s Spiritual Sundays
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Sunday, September 23, 2012

DARRELL'S WOES Chapter Eight

courtesy google search

The day of the Prom had arrived and there was much excitement about this event.  My mom gave me a ride to all of the stops I had to make. Get my suit and shoes, get the corsage, pick up our tickets and many other things to check on. There wasn't school for the seniors today so everyone had time to get ready for tonight.

Getting dressed was a little difficult for I had to figure out what everything was and where it went.  
Both mom and dad checked me out for I felt unsure as to how I looked. The last thing to do was to check the toes of my shoes for any marks and comb my hair.

I was as ready as I was going to be and besides my car and driver had arrived.  It only took a couple of minutes to get to Loretta's house and I found myself at her door looking for the door bell when her mother opened the door and looked me up and down. I had never met her or the father so she was curious about who was taking her daughter out.
Lori as she likes to be called, quickly stepped out for she knew what would happen next if her mom got started and away we went. She came out so fast that I never got a good look at her but now in the car I hardly recognized her. The braces were gone, she had contacts instead of glasses, her hair had been restyled and she wore an off the shoulder gown. The only thing I recognized was her voice for she was gorgeous and then that old feeling of inferiority came back and I wondered what she was doing with me.

Upon arriving, I jumped out and open her door before the driver had a chance to do so. Then I told him to be back about 11:30 to pick us up.
When we went in several of the boys without dates began checking her out and even the ones with dates were looking also.  Soon there was a gang of guys surrounding her asking for a dance while acting as if I wasn't there. She very graciously told them that all of her dances were spoken for which made me wonder if I was on her list.  When I asked her she said that they were all mine and I began to breathe normal again. This evening was the highlight of my life so far and we danced almost all of the dances except when we enjoyed the buffet.

The time came when it was the last dance and the band leader said; this last dance is for sweethearts only, those with dates only please exit the floor. We weren't exactly sweethearts. Just good friends but I didn't move and neither did she. We just stood looking at each other waiting for the music to start. It was a slow dance "Good night sweetheart" we just leaned on one another and moved side to side even after the music was over and people began to laugh at us.  

Normally people laughing would bother me but such was not the case. I gave her my arm and our driver was waiting for us. We arrived at her house and I told the driver to go on for I was going to walk home.
When we got to the door we stood for a minute staring and I decided to kiss her. It was a little better than a mom kiss but wasn't very good, then she grabbed me and really kissed me the way it should have been.  As she stepped back the porch light turned on and her father stood tall in the door way and said "Say goodnight Loretta" which she did and disappeared AND SO DID I.

I rehearsed the whole evening while walking home with those shoes hurting my feet.  I had never enjoyed myself as much and even if it cost me about $200.00 it was money well spent. Over the weekend I thought about Monday and how to act after what happened on prom night. I decided I would just wait and see how it played out.   

To be Continued

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Saturday, September 22, 2012


Dancing courtesy google search
When last we spoke I had just finish dancing with a new girl at school who from a distance seemed to have no style at all.

Out of mercy I invited her out on the floor without looking at her directly. I just reached out to her, and she took my hand. At the end of the dance I decided to take a good look at her for I reasoned, “How bad can she be?”

When she raised her face up I realized that she actually had some potential. As I thought on her it just came to me that she was very firm and underneath those baggy clothes she was very shapely. I hadn't thought about this while dancing but now things came into focus.

“Maybe she wasn't as bad as I thought.” I concluded.  We danced to several different rhythms and kinds of dances for she knew them all. In fact we danced until the music stopped and they started to turn the lights out.

I asked her if I could walk her home and she said no, someone was picking her up. I asked her who it was, and she said my dad, as a big car pulled up and she got in and away they went. I looked for her at school the next day but never found her since our school was quite large. Toward the end of the week I saw her again and notice she looked a little different and then I realized it was her clothes, she didn't have the baggy dress on. Her hair was the same and she still wore those black horn rimmed glasses and something I hadn't notice was she had braces but overall she looked different.  Her clothes were form fitting and I could see why she felt so firm as we danced.

Then it was my turn to feel inferior to her.  After I got over those inadequate feelings I asked if we could do something together sometime and she said, “Maybe so.”  For me that was a big step up and I tried to think of something that would be fun.  
A couple of days later I asked her to go to the movies, and she said okay.  In the excitement I had forgotten something very important, and that was we would have to ride the bus. Most of the guys my age either had a car or could borrow one. After explaining my predicament she suggested that she meet me at the movie and she would have a ride home. We saw each other often after that mostly doing things like walking or studying in the library but at least we saw a lot of each other.

The senior prom was coming up shortly and I wanted to ask her to go with me. Usually I had no interest in these things but I strongly wanted to go to this one. I started to ask her several times but got cold feet and didn't.  
Prom night was getting closer so I finally got enough nerve to ask her if she would go with me and waited for an answer. Finally after some time she said; “I thought you would never ask.” Then she said okay, she had several other offers but waited to see if I would ask.
I had much to do. Rent a suit, arrange for a car and driver, prom tickets, corsage and get a haircut among other things. I never noticed but she had let her hair grow out some and her bangs were now pulled to each side.  

 To be Continued

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This post is shared at: Stacy’s Friday Heartprints Hallelujah 

Thursday, September 20, 2012



I had attended the few dances that were sponsored by the school and as usual there were always some wall flowers available for partners and they were glad someone would dance with them.

By this time my aunt had taught me some good moves and fancy steps. I always kept things pretty simple for these wallflowers because they were not very good, although I made them look as good as possible.

I finally turned seventeen and was a senior looking forward to graduation when at one of the dances I noticed a new girl sitting with the wall-ies.  She was pretty plain looking with clothes her grandma might wear. Her hair had been given the Dutch boy treatment with bangs down to her eyes and she was wearing dark rimmed glasses.

I have never been snobbish but I thought, “That poor girl will never be asked to dance.”  I almost felt sorry for her and coming from me that was unusual.

I had been looking at her across the gym and couldn't see her that clearly but it was obvious even at that distance I could tell she was a loser.

Since I had specialized in being ignored I knew how she must feel just sitting there, so since I was graciousness embodied I ventured over, and without speaking or really looking at her directly I reached out my hand and she took it.

courtesy google search
I led her out on the floor and took in a big breath to calm my nerves and drew her a little closer when she moved right against me.  I almost shouted, “Oh no out loud, don't do that,” but reconsidered and did not speak.  Then I thought, “At least this way I won't have to look at her.” I thought to myself, “I'll drag her around the floor until the music stops and when this dance is over I will get out of here.  All I could think of was, “Why, why, why did I do this?”

The music started and I just stood there for several bars until I came to myself and slowly started moving around the floor. Much to my surprise she followed my every move, so I contemplated,  I will speed things up a bit and do some fancy stuff.”  Still she mirrored each step I made and it was like she anticipated my every move. This was a first for me because most of my partners couldn't keep up or come close to what she was able to do.

When the music stopped we released our hold on each other and I turned away so I wouldn't have to look directly at her at the same time saying she was a very good dancer. Then I thought, “Oh why not I've probably seen worse,” and so I looked directly into her face.

To be Continued

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Growing Up
courtesy photobucket
I must say I now had a full life, going to school, working at least four hours each day and all day on Saturday, going to church on Sunday for an hour and then trying to catch up with my studies Sunday afternoon.

My social life consisted of ignoring my classmate’s slurs and saying hi to them when they came in for a burger.  I had heard of unseemly things being done to food to get even with people and I was always tempted to fix them a "special" burger but of course I never did.

School was pretty easy for me and with a little extra study I always got top grades which made me even more unpopular with kids who had to struggle to get passing grades, especially the richer kids. They felt so much more superior to me, and this was hard for them.  I took pains to not rub it in and make things any worse.
Courtesy photobucket
Another thing that made my life difficult was in a word, "growing up.”

Mentally and physically things were progressing at a normal pace although those adjustments were hard to accept for all the changes that were occurring seemed strange.  Perhaps it was more so for the girls though the boys had to deal with their own changes, and they were affected by the obvious changes in the girls also.

So many feelings came alive that I never knew existed and further didn't know what to do about them.

I don't talk about GOD very much but I came to the conclusion that when He made man he hid certain attributes within man that would manifest themselves in time and would keep man from getting bored with his life.

Boy reading Magazine?
courtesy photobucket
Recently I have noticed some of the guys in the school library reading books on human anatomy. I never realized they were such good students.

Also there have been a number of magazines being passed around. The teachers have collected a good many of them, of course they wouldn't peruse them beyond just checking them for content.

It was almost miraculous the way former disdain between the two sexes had now changed into open flirting.

Perhaps it was because my life was so full of things to do I wasn't affected as much as those with little responsibility, but I had feelings I had never known before and was at a loss as how to express them.

I began to be a little more social with girls although I didn't understand them.  I couldn't grasp why they spent so much time doing what seemed to me to be Tee-Hee-ing they were always talking quietly talking among themselves and then would burst into laughing while looking at some boys.

This was a mystery to me for the boys just talked out loud and said what they thought about certain girls. I determined to try to find out more about why there was this difference between the sexes.  
To be Continued.
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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

DARRELLS WOES chapter Four

My First Job
Courtesy google search

 I'm glad you returned to be with me again. Let's see I left of telling about my aunt teaching me how to dance.  Perhaps later I will get back to some experiences I had dancing, but for now I will go on and tell you some details about my daily life.

As I inched nearer to the most important day of my foreseeable future that was my sixteenth birthday.  This day was going to change my world.  Now I was old enough for a part time job.  
Off I went to all of the fast food places and asked for an application for employment. I got the same answer at each place; fill this out and bring it back after you turn sixteen and not before. I was elated and deflated at the same time for I hoped to go to work part time the first minute of my birthday.

As it happened when I gave each manager my application they would say; “We'll put this on file, when we need some help you will be considered meanwhile don't bother us.”

It was some six weeks later I received a phone call telling me to come in for an interview. I was there almost by the time they hung up ready to assure them I was their man.  After a number of questions that seemed irrelevant they said they would let me know. That wasn't the answer I was hoping for but I still had a chance.

I filled my time passing the written drivers test, getting a drivers permit and begging my dad to allow me to drive. By the time I was ready to take my driving test my dad was a nervous wreck, and had to get some pills from the doctor.

Now since I had a license to drive, my life became more tedious for I had nothing to drive. The family car was now off limits, and I was told when I got a job the money would go into my college fund.  I begged and pled for some wheels to no avail. What made it worse was several of the more affluent families had bought their kids new cars as a reward for staying out of trouble.

I didn't realized I could have this much passion for anything and I suffered mightily because my desires for a car were unfulfilled.

I received a call to come to work at a burger joint and I thought to myself, “now that I am employed surely I will need a car to get to work.”

But my dad said; “Why should you ride in a five thousand dollar used car when you could ride in a 200,000.00 dollar bus?” He then gave me a supply of quarters for bus fare.

My job at the burger place was flipping burgers and other menial tasks when I wasn't busy cooking. The only problem I had was the burger smell was hard to get off, and even after a long shower I still smelled good to anyone who was hungry.

They next thing I knew my tormentors at school nicknamed me Burger Dude.  

It was just another thing I had to live with.   
To be Continued

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Monday, September 17, 2012

DARREL'S WOE'S Chapter 3

Learning some Steps from Aunt Sarah
image courtesy google search

After being led, I should have said dragged around the school auditorium dance by that tall gal for an hour I was wore out.

But while we were making our circuits around the floor I notice several things.  One of which was a lot of the guys were trying to hold their partner very close to them. While some of the girls didn't seem to mind others didn't like it and said so out loud.

Some of the boys stepped back several inches while others were a little harder to discourage.  As for me I tried to stand at arms length but she kept me closer than I wanted to be.

Over the next day or two I thought about the whole ordeal and concluded that it wasn't all that bad and if I had been better prepared I might have almost enjoyed it.

Now it had been several years since I talked to my mom, I mean really talked to her. Our conversations only dealt with the superficial things, but nothing personal. Maybe you can realize how difficult it was to approach the subject of taking some dance lessons. The idea of me wanting to do something so interactive with another person was almost outrageous to her.

The look on her face made me want to head for the door but paralyses set in and I couldn't move. In this transfixed state I tried to act as if there wasn't anything unnatural about this request.

At first she was stunned and sat down, then came the interrogation wanting to know why and on and on. This was the reason I hadn't talk to her at this level for some time. I kept my answers simple and after she wound down she wanted to know how much money we were talking about and when I told her she turned several shades of red, then ashen and went through her complete repertoire of grimaces.

When she caught her breath she said "no." I tried to pout but I just couldn't work it up. Then she said I don't understand why you won't call up your aunt Sarah she has been known to knock a mean step or two and maybe she will help you.

The idea of talking to Aunt Sarah was almost as bad as talking to mom but I knew if I didn't mom would mention our conversation to her and I would be embarrassed.

So I decided to approach Aunt Sarah and just work up to the subject by saying I had heard that she was a good dancer but before I could open my mouth she said, "So you want to be a good dancer?"  
She had put some music on the old stereo and then turned it on. For the next two hours she taught the basic steps to all the popular dances and best of all she taught me how to lead.

After several more sessions I was ready for the next school dance. I had the confidence needed to "Trip the light fantastic" as the old saying goes and I hoped I would gain at least a little respect from my peers.

Come, and trip it as ye go,
On the light fantastick toe.
And in thy right hand lead with thee,
The Mountain Nymph, sweet Liberty; Milton

To be Continued  - - -

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