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Sunday, August 1, 2010

AUGUST AND THE DOG

I must say that I have struggled and hesitated to relate this story and am going to preface with the warning and let you decide as to the truth or fiction of it.

There was this man named August. His papa and mama named their kids after the months of the year. They did this so they could remember when they were born. I thought this was a little strange but I figured whatever works. There was June, July pronounced Julie, May, April, September called Ember and August.

August lived on the edge of town, not really a city family nor altogether country either, I guess they were tweeners.

August wasn’t working full time and had some time on his hands. Once a month the auction people held a hog auction and August decided to go. While chatting with some friends he saw a man holding a sign saying “free dog.” That immediately got his attention because the dog was a fine looking animal. August asked his friends if they knew any thing about this man and the dog whereupon they said, “No, just go over and ask him about the dog.”

August ambled over to where the man was and after awhile he said, “Howdy“ and man said howdy back, and they just stood there without saying anything else.

After a few minutes August asked. “Is that dog any good?” The man said. “Well he is friendly and well behaved, so far he hadn’t bit anyone.”

Everything was quite for awhile and then August asked, “Is he a pure bred hound?” and the man said I think so, but I ain’t for sure.

Now this conversation was getting longer and longer and information was coming very slowly.
August said, “How come you want to git rid if him?” and the man answered saying; “I just thought it was a good idea.” August replied; “The hog sale is a starting and I should get in there and see what hogs are going for, but if you are going to be here later, we’ll talk some more.”

As August started to walk away the man said. “If you decide to take him, he will be free, and I will also give you fifty dollars to take him.” August said, “I’m interested and we’ll talk later.” and the man said, “Okay, but I can’t guarantee he’ll still be here.”

As August walked away there were a myriad of thoughts going through his mind, all the “What ifs” and how comes? It don’t make sense, but the fifty dollars seemed to over-rule all the questionings.

When the hog sale was about over August began to look for the dog and the man, and to his surprise he and the dog were still there. August said. “Do you have the fifty dollars?” and the man said, “Yes I do.” August told him, I guess I want him, whereupon the man pulled out the money giving it to August, as he handed him the rope that was around the dog’s neck.

August hollered as the man left and asked what the dog’s name was. The man shouted back and said,” FATE” and was gone.

August looked at the dog and felt the fifty dollars in his pocket and thought he had made a pretty good deal. He told FATE to get into the truck, and the dog jumped in and sat up looking out the windshield like he was interested in every thing that passed by.

When August got home he decided not to tell his wife about the fifty dollars for she didn’t need to know about it. His wife took one look at the dog, and went into the house mumbling under her breathe saying; we don’t have enough to feed ourselves much less a dog.

August fixed the dog a place to sleep and told him that he had to stay out there, whereupon the dog looked at him and then the box August had fixed and proceeded to run into the house. August followed close upon his heels and tried to catch Fate for he didn’t dare let his wife see him in the house.

Finally Fate went under the bed and wouldn’t come out. August went and got some dog food and showed it to Fate but to no avail. He kept coaxing him when - - - Now here is where the story becomes unbelievable and you might want to stop here and not read any further because what happens next is a bit strange to say the least.

For those whose curiosity has got the best of you we continue on.

August pushed the dog food further under the bed and Fate said, “Get that stuff out of here, I don’t eat dog food.”

I won’t attempt to tell you how that affected August for he was beside himself for awhile. When he calmed down he hesitatingly asked, “What did you say?”

Fate answered and said, “Get that stuff out of here for it isn’t fit for a dog,” and under the bed he stayed.

August asked, ‘What do you usually eat?” and the dog answered and said, “Usually I have some good grade hamburger and a glass of milk. On some occasions I will have a steak with mushrooms.”

August dragged Fate out from under the bed by the ears and put a rope around his neck and off they went to find the man that had give the dog to August.

After a long and trying time he found the man and tried to give the money and the dog back to him. The man said, “No a bargain is a bargain, and any way he knows where you live, and he would keep going back to your house.” The man turned and walked away and August watched him until he vanished out of sight. There was nothing to do but go home.

August settled down and started to talk to Fate like he was a human being, trying to make some sense out of all this.

One day he got up the nerve to ask him how this all came about and Fate said;

“It is like this, I was supposed to be a charismatic preacher and like a lot of charismatic preachers I was all mixed up. My mother was due and I was waiting to face the world when the flip flop occurred. As I started to take the breath of life I ended up in a litter of pups being birthed. A twist of fate occurred and I ended up as a dog.

The man who came and picked me out of the litter was a good ole boy but he was a Baptist and he couldn’t take a dog who - - - Well you know what charismatic do; it was just too much for him.

He tried to give me away, but had no takers, and that is the reason he offered the fifty dollars to anyone who would take me.

My desire to preach was so strong in that I went to several preachers and got the same response, ‘If I let you preach here, people would say I have let the church go to the dogs.’

Of course that was after they had composed themselves; for to have a talking dog saying he was a preacher was shocking. Usually the first words out of their mouth was, “Shades of Balaam’s donkey!”

I tried to do some preaching to some Pentecostal people thinking surely they can look beyond the obvious, but every time I would start they would gather around me, and try to cast the demon out of me.

That brought my preaching career to an end. So then I wondered what is next for me.”

FATE told August, “I'm not sure how long you can control your wife for she doesn’t seem to like me, and when you tell her she must prepare a nice meal for me - - - Well I just don’t know.

Here, I find myself in a quandary; I don’t fit in with the dogs because I can’t stand all that yipping. I don’t fit in with people because they don’t accept me as an equal, and I’m am tired of them saying you ain’t nothing but a - - -.

I could start a church but how many of you people would come and hear me preach every Sunday? - - - that is what I thought.

And so I started my singing career. August said he just couldn’t hang any longer. So I am enjoying my success out on my own.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEgXifAdk7Y&feature=related
This is a true story, or at least it is a story, you will have to admit that!

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