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Thursday, June 16, 2011

MY TRIBUTE 2 the Southern Red Necks


image courtesy Photobucket

My tribute to an important ethnic group, something that been long
neglected. And I intend to remedy that right now.

The southern REDNECK is in a class by himself. You might view him as pride, personified.

Pride is inherent in a Redneck; you'll never find one who is not proud.

He is proud of his truck, they are all customized, and no two are alike. The genre of his imagination is unlimited.

Next he is proud of his dog; it will be a hound if he can afford one. When GOD created the REDNECK he knew that something was missing and being GOD he soon figured out what it was, he needed a dog to complete him so GOD created the hound dog just for him.

He is proud of his wife and lets her ride in his truck on special days, but his dog gets the window seat. He ain't the kind that’s wants to keep his wife barefoot and pregnant, he wants her to be barefoot and pregnant, and also have a job because his truck needs fixing sometimes.

He is proud of his kids, all 10 or 12 of them. They had better all be tow heads or he will have a serious talk with his wife cause she will have some explaining to do.

He is proud of his pappy and mammy because he wouldn't be a Redneck if it weren't for them; he would have had been something else. Also he would never learned to talk Redneck without them.

His pappy chawed tobacco and his mammy dipped snuff and they taught him everything they knew how to do.

You don't have to be a Redneck to understand Redneck talk but it helps, see if you can repeat these lines.

"My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

"If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

"A broken hot is hod to fix."

"My granpaw retard at age 65."

"I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... Must be from some farn country."

"He can't breathe ... Give 'em some ear!"

"Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
That’s enough to test your ability with the inglish language and if you could understand that, then maybe you should check and see if you have some Redneck in you.

The Redneck is very smart; he will do odd things just so people will make fun of him and have a good laugh.

While he may look foolish he ain’t NO fool.
News flash: The EPA has just declared the True Southern Red Neck an endangered species. And will now be protected by the EPA from all defamatory remarks.

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