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Wednesday, July 9, 2014


Who Raised You ??

As a boy many times more than once I was asked “Who raised you” or “Were you raised in a barn?”

Another was, “Weren’t you ever taught to shut the door?”

My failings were all too obvious to everyone and like most smart alecks I developed my wordy defenses and would reply with something apropos (Or so I thought) like “No I lived on a hill where the door shut itself.”

In retrospect that was a dumb answer but one I prized.

The weakness of my repartee of course was and is the unoriginality of it for everything I used was something I heard others say.

These retorts always provided me with a feeling of missed it by half and as I walked away it was “I should have said.”

As time went by I garnered more of these unsatisfying witless remarks and sorry to say they became a kind of philosophy to live by.

Trying to answer the question “Who raised you” I would like to put the blame on someone not myself and practice self-deception.

The answer may not be a complex as we supposed. I raised myself and the result is my response to the issues of life as I faced them. Money, education, and nurture (or lack of) may aggrandize what I appear to be but the underlying truth is I am what I am not necessarily what I seem to be.

The three levels self-discovery are what I want others to think I am, what I think I am and what I really am.

The first is what I project which is what I think will bring me success in the arena of respect by the standards of the present world system. My success is determined by my ability to be flexible and ability to keep up with the changing scene.

The second level of self-awareness is often offended and put upon by the changing scene for the act of soulical adultery must needs be to occur.

This is below the physical level and is an inward act that can lead to the outward expression.

It has been described as the battle for the mind wherein the mind has to deal with contrary facts and the emotions must be overruled by the will in order for the outward manifestation to take place.

The scriptures state it simply by saying, “Sin takes place in the heart,” prior to it actually happening.

Giving birth to questions I am pregnant with is a painful experience; such as “Am I satisfied with the person I have become?”

Do I want to change?

The price of change is wrought with further pain which I would like to avoid.

A long term smoker can attest to the physical and mental stress involved in stopping smoking. So also are other changes charged with difficulties.

The final level of self-discovery is the concluding depth of who I am.

I can see myself in a mirror and use some aids to make improvements in my appearance. I can train my mind, control my emotions, and make wiser decisions soulically - - But underlying those things is the real person I really am.

As I sit contemplating myself at this level I hesitate to probe deeper than the surface stuff for fear of what I might find… the actuality of who I am.

Back to the question of “Who raised me?” 

I raised my self, and am responsible with the result.

At last I have gotten beyond after much struggle, of blaming everything and everybody else for the result of who I am.

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