WHAT THE SOLDIER SEES

A Soldier Thinking - - -

I considered myself to be a man’s man. I usually got a second look from the women and dates were easy to come by.

My ego demands that I see myself a little above average (Like most men). My taste in women runs toward blue eyed, blond, fair skinned females.

The thing is I met this girl who didn’t meet my standards for she had brown eyes and dark hair. Her lips were full (not too full) and were framed perfectly by the shape of her face.

Now I may have seen prettier faces but what grabbed was she was a perfect package. She had it all and I wanted… I had to have her.

This girl made blue eyes and blond hair passé as far as I was concerned. I don’t know if she was playing me or what was happening but when I asked for her hand;  she just looked askew as if she wasn’t interested.

After some time she said I will think about it. Then she started to talk about things I had no interest in. I had put my whole future on the line and she was treating it as if I had asked about the weather.

She could sense my frustration and eventually began to smile. She said “I don’t know, I guess if you really need me… want me then I guess you can have me.”

I thought this wasn’t the way I thought she would react but it was an answer I could accept.

I wanted to be as cool as she had been but I couldn’t do it. I grabbed her and about smothered her with kisses. I wanted to go to college but there was no money for it.

We talked it over and decided if I went in the service I could get my education that way. After two years of service and waiting I got into college and we were very married. With her help I was enrolled but after two years I was called up and sent next door to hell to fight another nation’s war.

After six months I was allowed to see my wife again, for two weeks. Then it was back to being shot at by the enemy who hates me as much as the people we are fighting for.

While the Commander-in-Chief lauds the effort he is putting forth for freedom I am fighting to save my life not to save the people who wish me dead.

Those who are afar see things as a heroic struggle while I see a mass of helpless men sent into a battle that can’t be won and that upon the whim of a person who doesn’t dare to don the uniform and lead us into battle.

Some say I’m embittered and maybe that’s true. I am just a part of a man now and was insulted by those in charge saying I was fighting for the defense of my country.

Only a fool could be convinced of that lie for no one who has been through this madness buys into that falsehood.

The worse part of the farce was when I was ordered to accept a metal in lieu of my missing body parts. This was the height of embarrassment for I was being praised for being a hero while the photo-op was taking place and aggrandizements were heaped upon the ones who caused my impairments.

For them it was just another day, another photo-op, for me it was the last humiliation I wished to suffer at their hands.

I’m glad we excluded the phrase “For better or worse” from our wedding vows for I can’t bring myself to let the woman I love live a life with a semi-invalid for the rest of her life.

My divorce is final over her wishes but she deserves something far better than part of a man with a metal.