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Wednesday, April 16, 2014


This is a short continued story that will be fun to read- -

 “Hello, Judge Paine?”

“Yea I reckon that’s me.”

“Judge this is Mayor Martel.  As you may have heard our courts are getting stacked up and we need someone to help us catch up with our cases.”

“Well Mayor as you know, I’m retired from the bench and am relieved not to have to hear all the woes of the city.”

“Yes I know but let me tell you, you are just what we need. You see we must have someone who has been a magistrate judge and has worked themselves up from being an attorney. An essential requirement is someone who has seen it all and is able to render rightful judgment without wasting a lot of the court’s time.”

“Well Paine said that sounds like me but if I wanted to be in a court room I would still be in my old position.”

“Well I can understand that but here you would be doing us a service and not wasting all the experience accumulated over all those years. Another thing is you would be handling every kind of case from felonies to traffic tickets. These are the kin of cases that are overwhelming the court.”

“How much are you willing to pay me?”

“Well I haven’t thought about money yet but it will be fair, why do you


“Because that will tell me how important you think the job is. There is not much reason for me to think the job is important and to take it seriously if you don’t feel the same way.”

“The time will come when your opinion of the job can make the difference between being considered fair or not.”

What do you mean by that judge?”

“Well I have always tried to treat everyone the same in my court and money or prestige wouldn’t gain any favor in my court room. So if someone of your social group had to appear before me they would be judged by the law not by their standing in the golf club.”

“I know what you mean Judge and there will be those who want you to overlook their trespasses. But in the name of fairness I am not one of them, all I want you to do is apply the law and let the chips fall where they fall.”

“Well I’m not too interested in doing this but to help you out I agree to take on a few cases. I’m still in good standing with the license board so when do you want me?”

“How about coming tomorrow and get acquainted with stuff coming up on the docket. Can you make it about nine?”

“Yes I guess I can make that alright.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow; meanwhile I’ll inform the court clerk that you will be handling some cases. It will be best if you will take cases no one else wants for one reason or another. As it happens in a town of this size there can be all kinds of attachments that can affect how one judges a case.”

“Good morning Judge, are you ready for some traffic cases?”

“Sure why not?” Judge Paine said.

Thirty minutes later Judge Pain had familiarized himself with his first case and mounted the bench. The first case was called; a case where a red light was ran and two persons were badly injured. Everyone was present and the prosecutor laid out the case against the young Shultz and asked for a fine and jail time.  The defense wanted all charges to be dropped.

Judge Paine said since this isn’t a jury trial it is my duty to render judgment and pass sentence if any is to be ordered. I have read the charges against you and am ready to render my judgment. He told the defendant to stand while the decision is rendered.

The judge said, “The fine will be $10,000 dollars and ten days in jail. He said judgment is based in part on past conduct and a deliberate action that resulted in bodily injury to two people.

You further know this is your fourth offence and so far you have got of with just a fine.”

“Listen up you old geezer nobody is putting me in jail don’t you know I’m big Jim Shultz’ son. I’ll give you a few bucks and that’s the end of it.”

The Judge spoke to little Jim’s attorney; “You better advise your client I won’t stand for this conduct in my court room. Instead of ten days in jail it will be thirty days in county.”

Little Jim had to be restrained and Judge Paine said, “I wasn’t finished with what I was saying. You will also be required to post a hundred thousand dollar bond for all expenses resulting from this violation of the law including medical for the injured parties. Whether they sue you for further damages will be up to them.”

This enraged Little Jim and he had to be removed from the court room as he threaten to hurt the judge.

Then Judge said, “For this further outrage the time in jail will be six months.”

His attorney said, “I would like him to be released on his own recognizance while appeal is made if you please.”

Judge Paine said, “I don’t please. He will sit in a cell if you want to appeal the ruling otherwise he will be transported to the county jail and start serving his time. This young man is completely out of control and you want the court to release this mad dog back into the community? No I don’t think so.”


“Bailiffs call the next case.”

This case Your Honor is an abuse case. Mr. Jamison is accused of beating his wife and assaulting two policemen when they tried to arrest him.

“Mr. Jamison I have read the report; what do you have to say for yourself.?”

Your Honor I don’t know what all the fuss is about for I was only defending myself from my wife and then the police who were going to beat me.”

“I see you don’t have an attorney and I feel compelled to advise you to get one.”

“I don’t need no x$%x attorney.”

“Very well my judgment is; you are guilty as stated in the report one charge is a felony and you are sentenced to three years in the penitentiary. You might get out in eighteen months if you behave yourself, officers take him away. We will break for fifteen minutes and then continue.”

After the break the Judge has returned and the bailiff called the next case.

“Your Honor this case is concerning the theft of a side of meat from Jones butcher shop.”

“Okay Mr. Lopez do you want a lawyer?”

“Your honor I have one but he isn’t here and I think he is drunk or doped up.”

“Why would you hire a drunk to represent you?”

“Well Your Honor he works real cheap and if it has been some time since he has represented someone and he is usually sober.”

“Alright do you want someone else?”

“No Your Honor I’m guilty and I just got caught.”

“Where is the side of meat now?”

“It is in a friend’s freezer and it is just like it was when I took it.”

“Can you give it back?”

“Yes sir, all I have to do is take Mr. Jones over there and he can have it back. Your honor, I was just hungry and I kinda lost my mind.”

“Is Jones here in the court room?”

“Yes Judge, I’m here.”

I want the two of you to come back into chambers for a chance to resolve this matter.

After a consolation with the two parties they returned to the court room and Judge Paine said, “I think we have worked this matter out. 

Mr. Lopez is going to return the side of meat and will work at the shop being supervised by Mr. Jones for one month. Mr. Jones will give Lopez enough meat to feed Lopez each day until the thirty days is up. After that it will be up to the two of them as to whether Lopez will be hired and be paid a salary.

The case will still be pending for the thirty days. Mr. Lopez I should throw you rear end in jail and if you ever do this or something like it again I will recommend you be put there. We already have too many people like you filling our jail system and that is the only reason I’m letting you work this out next case.”

The court calls Jennifer Anniston.

“Well Jenny how is it you have the same name as the movie star?’

“Simple she is doing pretty well with it so I thought I try it and see if it would do any thing for me.”

“You do have a real name don’t you?”

“Yes, how do you like May Bell Wagner?”

“That sounds alright to me it is better than my name which is Paine. You have an attorney, has he advised you of your rights?”

“Yes he has.”

“How do you plead?”

“For mercy I guess.”

“We will see about that later but now, guilty or not guilty.”

“Which is better Your Honor?”

“This is something for your attorney and you to decide.”

“Well Your Honor since you look like a kind gentleman so I believe, guilty.”

“It look’s like what we have is Prostitution and theft of a wallet with a hundred dollars missing. Did you take it May?”

“Well yes and no. you see my fee for services rendered was one hundred dollars and he didn’t want to pay up so I took it from him.”

“Where is the John?”

“He isn’t here Your Honor.”

“Why not?”

“As I understand it,” May’s lawyer said, “He didn’t want his wife to find out about his trifling conduct so he didn’t show.”

“Okay, the way I see it is the hundred dollars is for the service May performed and I have difficulty with the issue of prostitution.

If I could stop it altogether I would in a minute. It not only is sinful but it robs women of their dignity to the point where they defend what they are doing in order to have some sense of pride though it is perverted.

If I could go back in time and help this woman find a life where she could be loved and protected by a loving man I would do it. As things stand all I can do is say you are better than this and I hope you will realize it some day, case dismissed.”

“Any more cases Bailiff?”

 “No Judge that’s all for today.”

“In that case let’s go home.”

“Okay Judge, see you tomorrow.”


To be continued

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