HERBIE AND ME

Herbie wasn’t exactly in our gang but he went to the same school I did.

Herbie wasn’t exactly dumb nor was he smart, maybe just slow.

Herbie had freckles and black hair; his brother had freckles and red hair.

Herbie couldn’t fight very well even the smaller boys could beat him up.

Herbie could do one thing very well, and that was to cuss a blue streak.

Herbie was the one I would look up when I wanted to make some money.

Herbie could always find a job such as washing cars at the car lot.

Herbie got, us a job cleaning windows on a new house, we made $5.00

Herbie had a shoeshine box, and we would make money shining shoes.

Herbie didn’t have any friends’ just acquaintances that he knew.

Herbie didn’t have a girlfriend, and never went on a date.

Herbie had many handicaps but he always did the best he could.

Herbie and I were not close, but after 70 years I have forgotten many of the guys on the avenue, but I still remember Herbie.

Herbie would have loved to hear someone say; ”You got friend in me!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nAeGDA2a5s&feature=related

THINGS MY COUSINS TAUGHT ME

I had so many cousins that I didn’t know them all. At times I would meet someone with the same family name, and I would ask my uncles; are they kin to us? Usually they would say yes, and explain how they were related.

Since my dad traveled around a lot, I wasn’t close to my kin as I would have been if I lived near them all the time. My great aunt’s family had several kids, and I knew some of them pretty good. I knew two of the boys (my second cousins) very well; they and my uncles sometime hung out together.

One was named Grady Parish; he was an easy going, friendly guy, and I liked him very much. Without giving you much history, let me tell you about one event. This event happen on this wise, he started messing around with a married woman, and the husband knew about it. He didn’t want to face up to Grady about it, because he would have gotten whipped as well as having his wife being disloyal.

As it so happened this man’s family ran the draft board and even though Grady had a deferment they sent him a draft notice to report to boot camp. As soon as boot camp was over Grady was shipped out to Europe, and he wasn’t there long when he stepped on a land mine and was killed.

Grady had G.I. Insurance for $10,000.00 which was a lot of money in those days. Farm hands only got a few dollars a day at this time. The money went to Grady’s mother, but the baby, of the family pretty well controlled it. His name was Paul and he was 17 years old at the time. The first thing he bought was a 1936 Ford Roaster. I couldn’t even buy the air in one of the tires. He bought anything he wanted and began to make new friends.

One of these new friends was a tall, strong dude that you didn’t want to mess with. His wife, Becky was a pretty young thing that could really dance well (or as everyone said; knock a step). Paul got close to them and they became best friends. In fact Paul got a little too close to Becky. The husband came home unexpectedly and found them in a compromised position.

As the husband went for Paul he leaped out the window leaving his clothes behind. From that point on the husband looked for Paul with the intent to kill him, and he would have if he found him. Paul hid for a few days, and decided to enlist in the army. He went straight to boot camp and was shipped to a place called Korea. A short time later we were notified that Paul was killed in action.

You might ask what did you learn from these boys and the answer would be; “Don’t mess with another man’s woman if you don’t want trouble."  If these boys had followed this rule their lives would not have been shorten.  To be sure your sin will find you out!!

The last time I heard the two couples stayed together and got by this mistake.

(Be sure to check out the URL below)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3A4iwrpT_LQ

THE BARGAIN

My wife and I were talking, nothing special just chit chatting. I mentioned people get married for many reasons. I said. “Some women get married for money,” and after thinking for a minute, I said, “Some men marry for money also.”

Some even get married for what they think is love, and again some for convenience sake, like two can pay the bills, the rent and all the other necessities better than one.

After we had exhausted the subject, she spoke up and said somewhat facetiously, “I married you for your money!”

Now as I thought back to when we got married, I only had a few dollars, and was barely working part time. I couldn’t let that pass without a smart retort because I thought she was raw-hiding me a little bit, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. I began to add up all my assets in order to figure out just what she got.

Well I gave her four kids to raise, there would have been more, but she put a stop to that. The last one just made it under the wire before cutoff time.

When I went into business I gave her a job running the office that had to count for something. She was already frugal, so I couldn’t take credit for that. She always had a place to sleep and food to eat, and I even let her pay for part of it.

And bringing things down to the present, she has three dogs who love her dearly, and a pickup truck that rides like a car.
One other thing she has about fifty pounds more husband now than when she married him.

So all in all I guess she made out pretty good, at least I think so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjLwQGkWJ80
I hope you enjoy this tune on youtube!

THE METAPHOR

One day my car had a flat tire, I thought; “What to do?” I remembered a guy on T.V. who advertised that he could fix a flat tire. I took my tire to him and he placed a patch on the tube, put it in the tire and sent me on my way.

About two blocks down the road, it went flat again. Back I went and he put another patch on it again sending me on my way. The same thing happened, and back I went, and he put another patch on it. This kept happening until there were patches on top of patches, and still the tire was flat.

Then he told me he had found the trouble, there was a nail in the tire. All he had to do was pull it out and everything would be fine except he would have to sell me a new inner tube. I explained to him I had spent all my money on patches, and couldn’t pay for a new tube.

Whereupon he told me he was retiring I would have to deal with the new owner. Since I couldn’t drive the car I left it parked on the street, and soon it was towed away. I haven’t seen it since. Seems I trusted the wrong guy with my tire.

Because of a nail the tube was lost. Because of the tube the car was lost.

Because of listening to some guy telling me he had all the answers I have ended up broke and walking.

       *         *        *        *       *  

There was the case where this man was injured, and was taken to the hospital. The specialist said; the man is hemorrhaging and needs some blood. So they kept giving him more blood as it continued flowing out of him. One of the team workers suggested, perhaps we should stop the bleeding but the doctor said no, what we need to do is just keep giving him more blood this will keep him alive until he gets well on his own.

They kept giving him more and more blood until one day they told the doctor; “There is no more blood.” The doctor explained in detail it was not his fault the man died, and besides he had more important things to do.

Somebody asked what was the man’s name? Finally one of the staff replied, I heard someone call him Sam, in fact he must have been a relative for he called him “UNCLE SAM.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy0fIyongdI

THE NAN0-SECOND (One billionth of a second).

Most of my mathematical learning stopped at the eighth grade level, and has been sufficient for an ordinary life cycle. Our division of time into years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds, works well for daily living.

Our concept of time is controlled by the rotation of the earth and the yearly orbit around the sun.

We further distinguish time by yesterday, today, tomorrow and add, day before yesterday, day after tomorrow and so on. The actual fact is we only have existence in that which is called today. Yesterday, tomorrow, and today are merely markers of relativity of time and space, and I might add convenience.

In our concept of time 12 o'clock is the witching hour, in less than a nanosecond, today becomes yesterday, tomorrow becomes today and we have a new tomorrow. GOD sees time in the smallest finite division of time. For Him the total of all time is hardly a hiccup in eternity.

This brings us to the point of importance of the nanosecond when viewing certain scriptures. "Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation" (2 Corinthians. 6:2).

If you have not accepted your salvation, which has been custom made for you, and your personality, with no one having been left out; then it is your obligation to receive it now.

This nanosecond is the time for you to receive your salvation. Do not put it off, because today, right now, is the day of your salvation.

Another nanosecond I will point out is found in;

1Corinthians 15:50-53 “Now I say this, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep (die), but we will all (both dead and alive) be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality.”

The "twinkling of an eye" is another way of saying in less than a nanosecond. The day of salvation will be over that fast, no time for acceptance, no time to get ready, when it’s over it’s over.

Final word, ‘SEEK YE THE LORD while HE may yet be found,” for the final nanosecond will have come and gone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA1BMCMWxE8&feature=related

R-RATED

Movies have a rating system whereby they are judged by a panel of 13 parents.

Ratings are not determined by movie studios or producers.

A board of parents who work for the MPAA's Classification and Rating Administration will rate movies according to their content. All board members must have parental experience to better enable them to empathize with typical American parents. Ratings are decided by a majority vote of the 10 to 13 board members.

The movie makers pay from 2 thousand to 15 thousand for the ratings, and some movie makers elect not to have their movie rated. They will have “UR“ or some other markings on them. There are several reasons for not rating a movie it could low budget, and they can’t afford the additional fees, or it could be so raunchy it would get an xxx rating. Whether G or NC17 it is still a guessing game for parents. The panel does not rate whether it is a gay or lesbian oriented film.

Net-flix does identify movies that are gay by genre.

The basic ratings are G, PG, PG13, R, NC-17. Also a triple X for pornographic films. This system is far from perfect, but it does give you some idea what to expect.

I was wondering if we used the same rating system for people, what rating would you get? What would be required get a G rating? The movie panel was required to take in consideration our society as a whole, and what is acceptable conduct by today’s standards. Could you tell lies, not pay your bills and still get a G rating? Maybe not!

Where would a little adultery put you, PG 13, maybe? Just supposed you were a professing Christian and got a NC-17 rating what would you have done to deserve that? Well anyway we know that these rating systems are not infallible, and maybe they were too hard on you. Perhaps you could arguably deserve an R instead.

Now can you guess where I’m heading with this? That’s right, you guessed it. There is a rating system that is infallible, and rightfully rates you as you deserve. There is no appeal for it never makes a mistake. If you feel your rating is low there is recourse for you. When a movie is submitted for a rating, and the rating is not what is needed for the target audience, the movie maker can re-cut the movie, (take out offensive scenes,) and resubmit it in order to get the rating needed.

GOD has criterion for rating Christians, and while He doesn’t tattoo your rating on your forehead, the HOLY SPIRIT will tell you in no uncertain terms whether you need to re-cut your life style and make some changes.

Sooooooo, what would I give myself, A G, PG or - - -?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzK4iXV_5Vk&feature=related

MEOW MEOW

My favorite Italian restaurant, sat on a high hill overlooking the Carquinez Strait, with the bridge, and all the boats below. It was a pleasant view while eating. Their food was delicious, and the menu had everything I liked including their home made Ravioli.

I would have eaten there every day except for the lengthy drive. After dining there for awhile, slowly but surely I noticed that I began scratching the sofas arm, I would catch myself doing that. And as time went on I began singing the meow mix song, over and over, and it got worse as time went on. I learned the song by heart, and would sing the complete song, and then start over.

I was too embarrassed to go to a psychiatrist, I thought it would soon stop and be forgotten.

About this time something strange was happening at the restaurant. The garbage man began to notice that the garbage from the restaurant had many cat food cans in each pickup. In fact enough to feed a hundred cats. He finally got so suspicious that he decided to call the health department, to find out what was going on.

Come to discover they were using cat food in their pasta dishes, and the Health Department quickly closed them down for good.

After a year or two a new owner opened the restaurant, but it didn’t do very good, probably because of the old reputation.

I’m happy to report that after the restaurant closed, I began returning to normal. I hard ever sing meow, meow any more.

This story is shared at “Tell Me a True Story.”