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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

FIVE AND ONE HALF - Chapter 20




Preliminary Sketches of a Girl
After a short time we had baby Lottie on a schedule (More or less) and it made life easier for us.
 
Lesley was still as passionate as she had always been and our private moments were not interrupted too often by Lottie.

I loved my little family as much as a man can.


On the way to work I sometimes listen to music to get my mind off of the stressful issues that would require my full attention during the day.  
The lyrics of many of the popular songs were not true love songs but about a relationship that had no commitment and was a temporary arrangement at best.
 
It's knowing that your door is always open
And your path is free to walk
That makes me tend to leave my sleeping bag
Rolled up and stashed behind your couch
And it's knowing I'm not shackled
By forgotten words and bonds
And the ink stains that are dried upon some line
 
The song “Gentle on my mind” simply means you aren’t good enough to commit to for life. The best he can offer is to shack up with someone until he get’s tired of one he doesn’t love and it’s I’m sorry, goodbye.
 
These Narcissistic lovers can only be satisfied by loving themselves and use others to as pawns to validate their greatness.
 
The pleasurable melodies waft the despicable message along encouraging people to be shallow and unfaithful.
 
I finally had to quit listening to that garbage no matter how enjoyable the melodies were.
 

I suppose it happens to every business when things level out and are just more or less running themselves. At the moment there are new projects on the board and it’s “clean up” time.

The company is at such a point where I’m just overseeing past projects to make sure everything has been finished according to our plans.

I come home early and get to be with Lesley and Lottie who is quickly growing up.

While watching her crawling around and trying to pull herself up to a standing position I called to mind the words “rug rat.”

Even though Lesley tries to keep the house spotless Lottie’s knees find enough dirt to cover her knees.

While watching Lesley in the shower and when she emerged to dry off, all of a sudden the desire rose in me to paint her once again. I didn’t think I would ever do it again but I got the urge to do it once more.

The first time she was partly undressed and I imagined the rest but this time I want her completely nude.

Her body isn’t quite as perfect as it was before Lottie but it is far more appealing for some reason. Perhaps it’s the slight sag of her breasts or the way she leans to the side from carrying Lottie on her hip it takes her a moment to straighten up.

I quickly sketched her as she stood drying her hair and as she bent over putting on her undies. That position is enough to inspire the most untalented among us to want to become a painter.

I’ve seen her before and I like what I see now far better. It must be the added level of maturity that makes the difference.

I venture to say that only an artist would feel this way for we see beyond the obvious. I didn’t know how she would feel about the project I had in mind for the first portrait had a strange effect upon the viewers.

In painting her again I wanted to stimulate the mind far beyond what the eyes were seeing. As I stared at the brief sketches I had just made of her especially the side view of her bending over made me fall in love with the images before me.

It had been a long time since I felt like this and I simply had to paint her again.

She finished dressing and went to check on Lottie and I continued to embellish the sketches from memory.

After dinner that night I pulled out the drawing I had made of her and she said, “You dirty old man.”  She went on and said, “I’m glad you drew me from the side and not the rear.”

I told her, “You know I haven’t done any art work for a long time but when I saw you today I got an irresistible urge to paint you once again.
 
I want to use the same technique as before, except I’ve improved on it.”

“Are you going to sell it or give it away or what?”

“No I plan on hanging it in the large hallway so I can see it every time I enter the door.”

She said, “Over the years I’m bound to change and the only way I will agree to doing this is for you to agree to make the picture reflect how I look every year.”

“You mean you want me to touch the painting up each year?”

“Yes that is what I want. I don’t need to be reminded of what I looked like thirty years ago.”

I said, “Okay I can do that if it’s what you want.”

After I thought it over I concluded that this was going to be the most interesting project I have ever embarked upon.

To be Continued
 
 

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