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Thursday, June 19, 2014


The School Dance

Growing up for me was a trial and error thing, according to the people around me. 

Sometimes I got it right and I would turn around real proud of what I had done, and they would say I got it all wrong.  This led to mass confusion and I spent more time figuring what was wrong than how to do things right.

In any case I managed to finish high school and was almost finished with college. I was failing in the most necessary course I was taking and this was serious. If I got my degree I had the promise of a wonderful job with a good salary but I was warned if for some reason I didn’t get my diploma the job would go to some nephew of his.

He didn’t want to hire him but because he was his wife’s kin he had to give in to her. He had told her he had already promised the job to me and if I qualified the job was mine. So there you have it.

He was under the gun so to speak and I was huffing and puffing like the little engine in the kid’s story. The best I could promise was “I think I can, I think I can.”

There was just one course yet to pass, and I needed that unit so it was summer school for me. I put my social life on hold all during college but it didn’t make much difference because I didn’t date that much.

A lot of the dating was when I would get a call from some friend who would say he needed a date for his girl’s friend. The girl’s friend was usually someone from out of town and my friend’s girl wouldn’t go with him unless he got a date for the out of town girlfriend.  In cases like this I was volunteered and told to mind my manners.

I was pretty sure I could make up the unit I needed if I went to summer school so I signed up and got my books. I couldn’t believe the professor had required the class to cover the material in five books instead of one or two. I got off on the wrong foot on the first day by reading the wrong lesson in the wrong book.

After class I went directly to the library and started to study so as to catch up. A very pretty co-ed came and sat across from me and I was too deep in concentration to notice her.

I needed to go and get a drink and when I came back I thought I was at the wrong table for I wasn’t used to girls sitting near me. Finally I decided it was the right spot because my open book was setting there across from her.

A half hour later she spoke and said since we were taking the same class perhaps we should study together. She pointed out several benefits of studying together and I had to agree.

On the weekend we went to the car races. I didn’t want to go but she knew a couple of drivers racing tonight so I agreed.  I guess I had fun but my mind was on the class. She was helping me a lot although she seemed to be forgetful about some things.

Several times she would go over the material we studied yesterday. I mentioned it a couple of times and she said it is just to reinforce the pertinent points. Stacy was the girls name and she was smarter than me. It seemed that on some days she was smarter than other days.

Toward the end of the twelve weeks it looked like we were going to come nigh to acing this course so I invited her to go with me to a dance. The summer school was sponsoring and she agreed.  The event was well done and I was ready to get down or as much as I was able to get down and show her my steps.

Stacy was a knockout in her gown and we danced the whole evening until I was exhausted. I looked at her and she was just getting started. I wondered if she worked out or ran a lot for she had the stamina of a horse.

The only thing was she went to the ladies room at the end of every third song to freshen up she said. I thought I should go freshen up because she would return all ready to go and I was tired out.

When I took her home and told her I really enjoyed myself and we should do something like this again. She said we test tomorrow and then we will have the rest of summer to have fun. She leaned over and made herself available so I kissed her not once but several times till she said I better go in.

I walked her to the door and got one more kiss and headed home. I felt like I could pass any test at that moment.

The next day we met and she wanted to sit way in the back of the testing room and I was almost behind a screen. She said that would be good for no one would bother me. I didn’t understand the logic but it was time to go. The professor entered and gave the tests to two monitors and they passed them out.

Three hours later my future was in the hands of the professor. Stacy said, “Let’s go celebrate. No matter how it comes out we have had fun haven’t we?”

I thought for a minute and said, “Yeah, we have, haven’t we, besides there isn’t anything to be done about it now.”

The next week seemed like two lifetimes but finally I received my letter and it said I passed with a high grade and I could come by and pick up my diploma any time.

I was excited as I called my future employer and gave him the news and he said he was relieved to hear it.

I went over to Stacy’s house and she was in the front yard pulling some weeds.

I walked up behind her and hugged her and then instinctively kissed her. She looked surprised and said, “Wow, something good must have happened.”

I said yes and told her about my job and I was going to begin work right after the summer.

She said, “Great, now about the wedding.”

When I caught my breath, I didn’t dare say “What wedding.”

She said she wanted a small wedding with only me and her there.

Stunned, I said, “Okay.”

When I left I asked the same question over and over; “Why did I agree to that?” and tried to answer it by using logic. That didn’t help much but I just gave up and said “Here comes the groom.”

The next day Stacy called me and said the wedding was to be the following day at nine o’clock and told me where to be.

I was on time and a man met me outside the building and said, “The girls are here so let’ get this wedding done. By the way my name is Elder Ramses.”

I followed him in and there was Stacy with a dark mesh veil on and her bride’s maid had one on also. We lined up as the Elder said to and he started right in. “Young man are you here to get married?”

I said, “Yes, I guess so.”

He then said, “Do you agree to be married according the churches rules?”

Without thinking I said, “Yes.”  I just wanted to get this over with.

He then asked Stacy some stuff and both the girl’s each answered saying the same things.
A couple minutes later the Elder’s woman gave us a certificate of marriage. We went out to Stacy’s car and the other girl came too. I kept waiting for Stacy to say goodbye to the other girl but she didn’t.

I thought, “I ain’t going to take the other girl on our honeymoon.”
Since Stacy didn’t say anything I spoke up and said, “Is there somewhere we can drop you?”
She said, “Stacy knows where.”

By this time we were up in the mountains so I figured she was a hill gal.  Stacy pulled into what was a large cabin.
I thought to myself, “I will be glad to get rid of her.”

Then I saw the lake.  All the sudden I was wishing we were going to stay here and I thought boy I would go fishing if there was a pole around. I could dig me some bait and it would be fish for supper.  I was down at the lake when Stacy called me and said c’mon it’s time.
I thought I hate to leave this place but there are more important issues here. When I got up to the cabin I saw my bag had been brought in with the others.

The girls were in the kitchen but now they both had their veils off.

What Had I Done?  Twins ?
Now as sure as I stand here I was a looking but I couldn’t tell the difference between the two of them. They both looked alike enough to be twins.
I knew I married one of them but which? I was getting frustrated and I said, “The joke has gone on long enough.  Which one of you did I marry?”

One of them (I don’t know which) said, “Both of us.”
“I did no such thing I married Stacy,” and one of them said “and Lacy.”

“What are you talking about?”

One of them said, “You should have paid more attention to what the Elder was saying. See here on the marriage paper. Sam Bolton takes both Stacy and Lacy for his wives.”

I looked at that and sure enough that was what it said. Then I said, “You’re twins?”

Smilingly they said, “Yep!”

I had to sit down for thoughts in my head were getting tangled up because they were coming so fast.

When I looked either at Stacy or her sister she had a glass of something and said it’s time to toast the brides and the groom.  I drank that stuff down without tasting it.

As I thought, “I knew there was a difference between the girls sometime but it was so subtle you could hardly notice it.” I took a deep breath and went back to my wives and one asked “Are you alright with the arraignment?”

I smiled and said, “We will make it work.  It’s my bedtime so which one of you is the oldest?”

“That would be Lacy.”

I said, “Come dear, into my boudoir and Stacy you stand by for the night is long and I’m not sleepy.”

Finis for now!


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