The Fourth Man - Chapter 4

What is Love Like ?

 

Boss man like cleaning lady very much

After all that marrying talk I said, “We will finish this in the morning for I have some thinking I need to do.”

I went to bed but didn’t go to sleep for I argued with myself most of the night.

This woman has said she wants to marry me.  Marriage is something I never considered before. I thought things were fine like they were. The words love was not ever used by me but in fact I love those kids and I was trying to sort out my feelings for Sarah.

It was sure I respected her; I could say I liked her but to say I loved her was something I hadn’t allowed myself to consider.

Then I thought how much would it hurt me if she left me? It would be a big hurt, more than I wanted to feel.

Near dawn and time to get up I decided I must be in love with her I just didn’t know what it felt like until now. So this is what love feels like. I couldn’t describe it, only feel it.

Perhaps if I had experienced a mother’s love I would have been different but I only knew my father’s hardness. I accepted the fact I loved Sarah and the kids but what to do about it?

She seems to be willing and I guess I want to marry her, but being a husband has to be different from being a boss. She has been married before so I suppose she could teach me what to do and how I should act.

All these thoughts had me confused. There was one thing that seemed clear and that was she wasn’t going to remain unmarried forever, and if I wanted her I had to move on it and do it now. She needed a man in her life and she wanted one now.

At breakfast no one said anything.

Afterward I said Chen and I am going to town to day and if anyone wants to go with me then get ready. Sarah said she and the kids wanted to go. I hitched up the team and told Chen to come with us and do his shopping. As we loaded up I noticed Sarah wore her prettiest dress which made me wonder why she would do that.

The preacher ties the knot

Just before we got to town I said if you meant what you said last night then we should find the preacher and have him marry us. She said I meant it and I’m dressed for it.

When we got to town I drove to the preacher’s house and told him we wanted to get married. He looked at the kids and said; “Well it’s about time.”

I felt like telling him these aren’t my kids but it just hit me; “These are my kids and I have been a father to them ever since they moved in with me.”

He said a lot of commitment stuff to which I agreed to but then he came to the sticky part. It was something he said after he said I now pronounce you man and wife. He said, “You may now kiss your bride…”

I hate to admit it but I had never kissed a woman. I didn’t know how to do it. I hesitated and I was having trouble looking her in the eye.

Then she put her hands on each side of my face and gave me a long kiss that embarrassed the preacher.

He said, “You better save some of that for later.”

I had finally been kissed and I must say I enjoyed the way she did it. I was sure people could hear my heart beating, it was beating so hard.

Honeymoon with new honey

We went to the café and had dinner and then met Chen. He had two suitcases with him. Sarah took two boxes from the wagon and started putting the clothes in the suitcases.

She said, “We better hurry for the train is leaving for Chicago soon. Chen is going to care for the children while we are gone. He already cares for them most of the time during the day so they will be fine.”

Chen left for the ranch with both kids sitting next to him. I told Sarah they will be talking like him by the time we return. I was still uncertain as to what was happening as we boarded the train.

The last time I was on a train was to rob it.

We sat in the back seat in the passenger car and Sarah kissed me several times on the way to the big city. She made me take my guns off and put them in the suitcase for she didn’t want me to shoot anyone who made a pass at her which was bound to happen.

Sarah knew her way around the big city so we made it to our hotel without any trouble.

It was a week I’ll never forget. She taught me so much during that week about married life, and we saw the sights of interest in our spare time.

If I wasn’t in love before our honeymoon I was deeply in love afterward.

Several times a day my mind would bring up the children and wonder how they were.

We headed home after the week was over and Sarah would hang on to me like I was going to run away.  She would call me “My man,” and that set pretty good with me.

Jim met us when we arrived at the station. He had spent a couple of days in town visiting his girlfriend. We had been talking about putting on some more hands and he had picked out three possibly four that would work out for us. Before we left for home I had him tell them to show up tomorrow with their gear.

While in Chicago I bought us a brand new buggy cause a family needs a buggy to go to town in. It was to be delivered in a month or so. Sarah wants to go to church from time to time and I didn’t want her and the kids to have to ride in the wagon to get there in.  Besides the buggy has a top and can be closed in on the sides if it rains.  As soon as it was built, they were going to ship it to our town.

I had forgotten to put my guns on at the station so I did when we arrived home. I had been without them during our time in Chicago and didn’t miss them at first but this isn’t the big city.  

I did buy myself a small but powerful pistol to carry when I go to church with Sarah. It can be hid out of sight but easy to get to if needed.

 

To Be Continued