NORTH OF AUSTIN CHAPTER 11

LOVE OF MY LIFE - - and a Good Friend

Chapter eleven

I was having trouble with my thought life for I had always been a gentle kind of person and had never killed anyone before.

The image of what the singletree did to those men was haunting me to the point I needed to get away from the scene where it happened.  Abby agreed it might be best for me to get away.

Since I had gone to Chicago on our honeymoon with Abby I decided to return there. I figured in Chicago with all the inviting activity, I wouldn’t have much time to think on the things that were bothering me.

Abby’s father put me in touch with a lawyer’s firm and they gave me the task of doing some research for them. Though I was only there for six weeks I learned so much that I am ever grateful for the experience.

I managed to find a couple of rooms above a restaurant where the owners lived in the back part of the building. They had a daughter Mirabel who was around twenty that I found interesting. She was a good conversationalist and when one of my moods would come over me talking to her would snap me out of the depression.

We began to go to the theater and other places of entertainment. She liked to dance, something I hadn’t been too fond of before but now with her I enjoyed it very much.

Mira as she liked to be called was usually available and was nearby so we were around each other continually. This closeness was beginning to be more than a friendship which was something I never thought could happen since Abby was the only one I had ever felt near to.

At first it was someone to talk to. Then I began to depend on her for support which has led to… I don’t know what.  Both my mind and emotions were totally confused. I knew I completely loved Abby but there was a kinship with Mira that came close to being love.

Then I received a letter from Abby and she said I had been away long enough. She said boys tend to get into trouble when they are running without restraints. She went on saying I have something I need to tell you and it needs to be said in person. You have been away from your wife too long and she needs you.

As I read the letter all kinds of thoughts came into my head. Had she become infatuated with someone, but whom? Were rumors floating around about me and Mira? As the questions increased the more uncomfortable I became.

I couldn’t lose Abby the love of my life. All of a  sudden my friendship with Mira didn’t seem so important ,it was as if I came to my senses. An hour later my bags were packed and a letter of goodbye left on the dresser to Mira.

Upon arriving home I had the surprise of my life.  Abby was unmistakably pregnant. She was so pregnant she appeared to be only a month or two away from becoming a mother. I gushed out is this what you wanted to tell me in person and she said yes.

I was so relieved I felt faint. All of the things that had been going through my mind disappeared in the blink of an eye.  I was going to be a dad, the very idea overwhelmed me. I wanted time to erase the memory of time I spent in Chicago which was still too fresh in my memory. It seemed impossible that I had experienced the feelings I did during those few weeks.

I felt guilty all the time but it wasn’t something I wanted to share with Abby. It was the first time I wasn’t completely open with her and I vowed it would never happen again.

I’m proud to say that I am now the father of a fine young boy. He is two months old and doing well.

Then the ceiling fell in. I received a letter saying that Mira would be arriving yesterday.

I was out of town when the letter came so Abby opened it and when I arrived home Mira was sitting in our living room with Abby. They were chatting away as if they had known each other for years.

There is no way on earth I can explain how I felt when I walked into that room. It is the only time I ever I felt like shooting myself, to put myself out of my misery.

Abby said Mira is going to spend a few days with us. I have given her the room next to the baby unless he keeps her awake then she can have the room at the end of the hall. The air in my part of the house was so thick I could hardly breathe. I had trouble responding to anything they asked me for I was in a fog.

I must skip over the next few days for the memory of them is torturous. We took Mira to the station when she was leaving. Abby hugged and kissed her on the cheek and Mira kissed me right on the mouth.

I was so flustered by that I couldn’t speak. Both of the girls busted out laughing at me while Abby wiped the lipstick off my lips.

I felt a relief as the train headed west until I thought; now I’m going to get it. As soon as we got home I went directly to Daniel’s room where Abby’s mother was caring for him. Abby came in and took him up to nurse him for he was just beginning to get cranky. Watching him nurse gave me a moment’s respite from what I felt was coming. Her breasts are beautiful and even more firm since Daniel arrived. I wondered if they would always be well formed and perky or would sag as most women do.

Then I came to and began thinking about the business at hand. Daniel went to sleep after being burped and Abby’s mother headed home.

Alone at last, I wanted to clear the air but couldn’t find a starting place. Abby just kept staring at me as if she was expecting a confession of some sort.

She spoke and said Mira and I had a frank conversation concerning the situation, as I felt like I was slowly disappearing. She is a fine woman and I really like her because she is open and honest. She told me of her feeling for you and she thought you had some of the same feelings toward her. Lastly after we had a frank discussion about your time in Chicago she said she had to come and see for herself if you had a wife that was worthy of you.

Before she left she said she was completely satisfied you were well taken care of. Oh yes, she said she wished Daniel was her little man. I told her of the trauma you had been suffering from and thanked her for being there for you when you needed someone.

We have parted as friends and I’m glad you found her as a friend. She assured me that your friendship didn’t take the next step for that would have complicated things.

I am still getting over my part of the misfortune that happened because of evil men.

All my life my older brother Abner had handled things of this nature and I was insulated from the after feeling of such violence.

Slowly it is fading from my emotions but ever so often there is a flare up of guilt till I remember how near Howie and Ada came to death and the pain they suffered and still live with.

I kept the singletree to remind me of the justice it rendered. The sheriff apologized for not being able to do his job but I don’t think he is glad to be alive which he wouldn’t be if he had braced the men who hurt Howie’s family.  He wouldn’t have been able to handle it like I did.

In the months that followed there was a story that went around about what happened to the evil men but of the many versions of it no one could believe that I was involved in it. The sink hole has now been filled with garbage to keep live stock from falling in as they grazed near it.

That helped people to forget since there were no grave stones marking their graves like Boot Hill.

 

TO BE CONTINUED