THE WORLD OF “IF ONLY"

I confess, I had / have a problem with living in the world of “if only”. It’s not the only world in which I have problems, there are the other ones like; the would’ve, could’ve or should’ve, and adding to those - - the words “If only.”

Once during conversations with friends a young man was talking about a girl he had been / was fond of, enumerating all her fine qualities and he rolled his eyes back into his head said; I could’ve have, should’ve have married her. His wife who was standing at his side said; “What am I? Chopped liver?

There is a song called: “The Land of Might-Have-Been”
Lyrics: Edward Moore; Music: Ivor Novello

Somewhere there's another land,
Different from this world below,
Far more mercifully planned,
Than the cruel place we know.
Innocence and peace are there - -
All is good that is desired.
Faces there are always fair;
Love grows never old nor tired.

We shall never find that lovely
Land of might-have-been.
I can never be your king nor,
You can be my queen.
Days may pass, and years may pass
And seas may lie between --
We shall never find that lovely
Land of might-have-been.

Sometimes on the rarest nights,
Comes the vision calm and clear,
Gleaming with unearthly lights
On our path of doubt and fear.
Winds from that far land are blown, whispering with secret breath--
Hope that plays a tune alone,
Love that conquers pain and death.

Shall we ever find that lovely,
Land of might-have-been?
Will I ever be your king or you,
At last my queen?
Days may pass and years may pass,
And seas may lie between - -
Shall we ever find that lovely,
Land of might-have-been?

These worlds are something I have sought deliverance from. They carry with them the pain from errors of the past, that is needlessly experienced repeatedly in our memory.

Perhaps there is a finalizing ceremony one can go through to negate the pain of yesterday, a forgiving of ones self for the failing of the past, a determination not to repeat the same mistakes again, nor stay victim to the past, and be held hostage forever.

There is a part of the world of “what if,” that can be helpful. A process whereby we examine the effects of doing things in different ways, evaluating them, and choosing the best way to proceed, this an exercise for the future, and not for experiencing the past again.

Perhaps I should’ve, and maybe I could’ve, but it is, what it is. But what it isn’t going to be, is a demeaning mental exercise of distress that I continue to support. For there is no going back to the Land of might have been.

Philippians 3:13 . . . one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things that are ahead.