FIVE AND ONE HALF - Chapter 9

PROM NIGHT

 

I should say she wasn’t very popular and was a little chunky but that was of no mind to me. I did the whole thing and hired a car to take us to the prom and pick us up when it was over.

Some how she managed to get into a nice dress that was tight on her and I gave her a pretty corsage. We did the whole evening and I was surprised at how well she could dance.

 

She could boogie with the best of them. I made sure I paid attention to her and I think she had the best time of her life.

There was something I tried to ignore and that was, Lesley was there.

 

I found out her cousin’s date cancelled out at the last minute so he convinced her to go with him.

 

I avoided her for I didn’t think I should get started with her while I was with a date.

A week later she came by to see me and I didn’t want to admit it to myself but I was glad to see her.

She said I saw you at the prom and I was glad to see you have a girl. I started to say she isn’t my girl and explain what happened or how it happened I was with her but I decided to let it slide.

I changed the subject by asking how her father and her mother were and also her answer was curt and to the point. “They are fine.”

Then she asked, how long I had been dating the girl I was with and I said not long.

She said, “She seems nice and she could really dance well.”

I said, “Yes she can do that.”

After a few more stabs at conversation I decided I had enough of this nonsense so I came out and said; “What’s going on.  Do you have something you want to say or ask? If you do then come on out with it.”

She just sat there and to break the silence I said; “Are you going to strip to the waist for me again?”

She laughed at that and said, “No I don’t think I’ll do that.”

I said; “Aw shucks I were a hoping.”

She said, “I’m going to the Nunnery and become a Nun.”

I said; “What! Have you lost your mind?”

Then I could see that she was serious and I apologized for my hasty remark. She said, “I have been planning this for a long time. That is the reason I said I had a boy friend and wouldn’t go with you.

I wavered a bit but when the Sisters came to see me and told of the needs the church, and that they were unable to meet them because of the lack of Nuns it got me back on track.

I wanted you to know this for in the short time we knew each other I had developed strong feeling for you and it caused a conflict in my soul. Even now I am struggling with my decision and if you have as strong feelings for me then I don’t know if I could go through with it.”

Hearing this strongly affected me for I had been resisting the feelings for her in order to have some peace, but this knowledge was to be too much for me.

It was as if my heart had melted within me and now I don’t know what to say or do. I certainly didn’t want to be the cause of her not doing what she thought she should do but I have suffered enough by not having her.

I couldn’t live, only exist without her. What to do?

“It wouldn’t be fair not to tell you how I feel.” I told her, “Without you I will just go through the motions of living. Putting it simple I want you, I want you, I want you. But you must make your decision exclusive of me and do what you want to do without any outside influence except the obvious.”

I told her my plans are set.

“I will finish college so I can take care of the one I love. I hope it will be you but I don’t want a wife coming to me with a lot of baggage of unresolved issues that will haunt us the rest of our lives. It will eventually tear us apart even though we love each other.

A question you must answer on the other side is how much can you give to a cause when you are in love with me. My best advice is to take some time for yourself and work it out alone.

The either go into the Nunnery or come to me but whichever, I want you to know you have made the right decision with absolutely no regrets and plan to live life to it’s fullest.

Once you have hashed it out and made your decision (meaning you have decided the other one was wrong) you will have escaped a life of misery.”

She said alright I will do it for it sounds like the right thing to do.

At that moment I wanted to hold her and never let go but the die was cast and it was something she had to sort out for herself. I didn’t want her to come to me with unresolved issues hanging on.

 

To be Continued

FIVE AND ONE HALF - Chapter 8

Josh delivered the Portrait to her Dad !

I helped her load up her photos and said, “I will drop off your painting in three days from now and perhaps we will see each other again sometime.”

I didn’t feel like working the rest of the day though I had a lot of work to do so I went to the gym and sparred with some of the boxing pro’s that were training there.

I just felt like getting hit physically for I felt I had been hit emotionally and needed something to bring me to my senses.

As promised I finished her portrait and I delivered it to her father’s office. I didn’t want to see Lesley so I did it that way. He looked at it and was more than pleased.

I had ordered a special frame and it was gorgeous. He wanted to know how much he owed me. I told him it was a gift to Lesley and there was no charge.  

He tried to insist on paying me for it but I told him if he paid me what it was worth it would be a large sum and if he paid me less than it was worth; it would devalue it disgracefully so I’m constrained just to make it a gift.  

He said he was going to hang it in his private office as long as his wife would allow him to and then it would hang in the den at home. As I left I had an empty feeling inside for I had put so much of myself in that portrait.

The images of her were beginning to fade as memory is apt to do and I have no negatives, pictures or nothing, all are gone.

Tomorrow I will catch up on work because I’m quite behind.

This episode has taken up too much of my time and I need to put it behind me.

Time has passed and school is starting again and I don’t know if I’m ready for this last year. It’s not that the classes are so hard but this is it.

I need to get ready for the future and what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Almost immediately upon my return there were several classmates wanting me to do photo shoots for them. Some girls and even guys wanted a portfolio to send to agents hoping to get jobs either modeling or in pictures.

I agreed to help them for I knew they were scared about what was going to happen after graduation.

If they couldn’t get a job they would have to try to get into college. As for me I had already sent a letter to the college of choice and the answered was that if there were no unforeseen circumstances I was in.

What a busy life I had, School then work at my little business; up early for studying and very little time for social events.

I tried to make as many of the senior events as possible but some were a waste of time.

The guy who had the contract for the senior year book wanted me to help with the picture taking so for a couple of days I was involved with that.

There was a senior picnic and that was a fun thing to do with games and swimming.

Some of the girls were showing more than they should have but that is the way of the day.

 

As the year was winding down the senior prom was coming up and I planned to go alone.

But this girl asked me if I would I would go with her.

I said, "Sure why not."

 

To be Continued

 

 

 

FIVE AND ONE HALF - Chapter 7

Think of your Bra as a bathing suit
He said !!

 

Her mother called and said she would be a little longer than she thought but it wouldn’t be long.

I said, “Come and sit on this stool and I will take a few snap shots while we are waiting.”

She laughed and said, “With my blouse on?”

I said; “Yes with it on unless you feel comfortable enough with me to strip to the waist and do a few angles of your upper torso.

I will give you the negatives and the pictures when I finish your painting. No one will ever see them unless you show them to someone. When you see your painting you will know that under the paint is the real image of you not just some surface guess work of the artist.

The first thing I will do is to draw and then paint you without clothes on and then I will add the clothes afterward.

No one else will see the difference but you will always know the real you is under the top paint.”

She stripped down to the waist and we did the shoot in just a few minutes and she was dressed before her mother arrived.

She said, “I feel like half a Godiva being half bare before you.”

I said, “It will make a difference when I paint you for I will see you in my mind as I draw and paint.”

Her mother came back and said, ‘How are you two getting along?”

I said, “Very well we have made some progress and I will have something to show you in about a week.”

Three days later I called and talked to Lesley and asked if she could come by without her mother I would show her how things were coming along.

She understood why she should come without her mom and said she would come right over.

I gave her all the shots we took the other day with a large head shot suitable for framing. I told her I didn’t have a frame that did justice to her beautiful picture.

She said, “Boy you sure can lay it on.”

I said, “No, it’s not only that you are pleasant to look at but from a technical point of view the contours of you face are perfect and I ought to know.”

I changed the course of the discussion and said, “Now for the painting. You have your nude down to the waist photo and it was helpful for doing what you’re going to see.”

I uncovered her painting as far as I had gone. It was a painting of her nude on the canvas just like the photo but without a bra.

 

I said, "Maybe we should just leave it for it is beautiful like it is. It will garner far more interest this way without being clad with clothes.”

She said, "That’s really me and I’m tempted but mom would pass out and my father would want to beat you up.

No, for both out sakes you better dress me.”  

I said, “It will be a shame but I will do it. Just remember what is under the clothes is exactly what is under your clothes right now.”

She leaned over and gave me a quick kiss and said, ‘You’re wonderful and I’m so glad we met.” She went on and said, “If I didn’t have a boy friend I would like to date you but you see I’m taken.”

I tried to smile as I said “Woe is me!” and we both laughed.

 

To be Continued

FIVE AND ONE HALF - Chapter 6

 

One more year of High School and it would be college after I graduated.

I had to save up for that because my dad didn’t believe in higher learning.

During the summer I was busy with photographs and portraits in my studio Dad let me set up in the garage.

I took photos of several of the kids in school. Some of the girls were scarcely shy of being beautiful and that hurt knowing they would be going out with guys I knew.

I had to placate myself with the fact I was making a lot of money.

It was about a month before school started again and a girl my age and her mother came in and wanted some photos and a portrait of the girl painted.

They had heard I worked cheaply so they came to me and wanted to know if I was available to help them?

I said, “Sure,” and set them up with appointments.

I asked if I could sketch the girl before they left and her mother said it would be alright but she had an errand to do and she would be back in about thirty minutes.

After ten minutes I showed the sketch to the girl and said I would use it to start her painting with.

Since her mother wasn’t back I talked to her about where she came from and if she was going to enroll here at the local high school. She said no she would attend a private academy but they would be living here.

She asked me what there was to do and if there was anything exciting happening.

I gave her a run down about where most of the kids went and what they did leaving out the lovers’ lane stuff for I didn’t think her mother would appreciate that.

She asked me why I was staring at her so intently.

I told her, I wanted to memorize your face much like an actor memorizes his lines.

 

After you leave I want to be able to see in my mind everything about your face. How your face and cheeks fade back into your ears and more importantly your eyes. You get the idea I want to be able to sit down and draw you from memory.

Oh she said, “You were freaking me out and I was about ready to leave.”

I said, “No, don’t do that, your mother said she wanted a head shot down to the neck, is that right?”

“Yes that is what she said.”

“I would like to do you down to the waist not quite as far down as the Mona Lisa but to your waist.”

She asked, “Why would you want to do that?”

Do you wear a swim suit at the beach?

“Well I don’t want to embarrass you but from what I can tell, you are perfect from an artist point of view.

 

You would be the perfect nude model. I’m not suggesting you do that I’m just telling you something about yourself.

 

Do you ever go to the beach?”

“Yes quite often.”

“Do you wear a bikini?”

“Oh no, my mom would have a fit.”

“But you do wear a suit of some kind?”

“Yes, you know something not so revealing.”

So you wear a bathing suit and hundreds of people see you dressed in that garment.”

“Sure I feel there isn’t any thing wrong with that.”

“Well I agree with you but how would you feel about removing your blouse and let me continue your sketch down to your waist. Remember being on the beach and all the strangers looking at you.”

She started to object but quickly removed her blouse and said, “Hurry up for mother might slip in on us.”

I hurried but paid special attention to the way her breast melded into her arm pits.

“You can put your blouse back on and I’ll show you what I have done so far.”

When she saw the sketch she began to blush and said, “You drew my breasts without my bra on.”

I said, “Yes, I have a vivid imagination. When I paint you, you will be fully dressed I just wanted to see the contours of your torso.”

 

To be Continued

FIVE AND ONE HALF - Chapter 5

Jessie never destroyed her portrait but showed it around.  Soon I began to get calls from people I never knew. They wanted to have their picture painted and before I knew it I was in business.  

Along with my graphics studies I had taken up photography and with some new programs I bought I could make people look great. 

I was finishing the eleventh grade and still hadn’t had a real date. Everyone was going with some at least once in a while but, “Shorty was left out.”  

Most of the fourth graders girls were as tall as me and a high school boy (not even me) wouldn’t date one so young, though I must admit I was tempted.  

There was one thing my dad did with me and that was teach me how to defend myself.  

Dad was a big tough guy that worked the docks and that was part of the reason he didn’t take to me. He was determined to teach me to fight and protect myself.  

Sometimes late at night he would be showing me how to feint, duck, and slip a punch. But what was the hardest was to take a punch and get up and continue the fight.  

After doing this from the time I was small I had all of the moves ingrained in my psyche and then came the dirty fighting or street fighting like he had to do on the docks.  

After learning all of this and being hard bodied (though small) I decided it would be better for me just to take it and not to get in a brawl so I always just ignored the insults and went my way.  

The last day of school I was walking down the hallway when one of the seniors shoved me into another senior and almost knocked him down. He was one of the meaner guys in the school.  

He grabbed me and said I’m going to get you after school and teach you not to be careless when you walk.  I thought of my old man and how he stood up to all of the tough guys on the docks and I surprise myself and everyone else by saying, “Okay, after school, be there.”

I figured the worst would be a few bruises and a black eye which wouldn’t be so bad.  

I showed up at the place where most fights happened after school and here he came with most of the school following him.  

I thought all this just to see me get beat to a pulp. I had pulled my shirt off and stood waiting when he came up telling me what he was going to do.

I said for him to shut up and fight if he wasn’t afraid of me.

 

In my mind was all the dirty tricks my dad had taught me and without thinking I kicked him on the side of his knee and he buckled.  

Then I kicked him in the ribs and this took most of the fight out of him he was bent over and I kicked him in the throat just hard enough to finish him off. 

He lay there moaning and crying. A couple of his friends stepped up as to take up the fight but some of the football team quickly put a stop on them.  

I helped my antagonizer up and said, “Lets go get cleaned up before we go home.”  He didn’t have any actual wounds that need attention but getting his hands and face washed made him feel much better.  

I told him he was going to be very sore tomorrow so go home and soak in some Epson salts for that would help some. 

He said, “Thanks and I can’t believe you whipped me so easy and fast. You are bigger than you look.”  

This was the only time I had ever been treated like that for I was always looked down upon.  

I truly hoped this was the only fight I would ever be in because it is a sure way to get hurt. 

To be Continued

FIVE AND ONE HALF - Chapter 4

By the time we met for her next sitting I had the canvas stretched, primed and the background done.  

It took me two weeks to finish the painting and I wasn’t too satisfied with it although it wasn’t that bad.  

When it was finished I took it to school and let the teacher see it and she was quite pleased with it. When I gave the portrait to the girl she was really excited and the rest of the day she was showing it to the other girls.  

She asked me how much she owed me and I told her I would like to get my costs back which were twenty five dollars for the oils, frame, and canvas. She said to come over this evening and her father would pay me.  

Since I needed the money I went and her mother opened the door and said; “My, you are small. Jessie said you were but I thought she was kidding me.” 

This embarrassed me but I didn’t let on and said, “It’s true I’m small but if you like the painting then you can get a full size artist to repaint it in a larger size.”  

She realized she had embarrassed me and set about to apologized by saying; “I’m sorry but most of Jessie’s friends are six foot or taller and I was taken off guard when I saw you. How tall are you anyway?”  

“I’m five foot and one half inch; I mustn’t forget the half inch should I.”

She smiled and said, “By all means, you have to count that too.”  

Jessie’s father showed up and asked me in. I had enough embarrassment for one visit so I told them I had to go, it was nice meeting them and turned and left.  

I decided I didn’t need the money after all.  Later I realized that I couldn’t allow hurt feeling keep me from being paid money I needed but I couldn’t go back there now and ask for it.  

Since our school is large I was able to avoid Jessica until Wednesday when she caught up with me and said she was sorry if her mom insulted me and here was a check for the painting. 

I saw it was for a hundred dollars but those feelings of inferiority came over me and I thought they were trying to pay me a lot extra to alleviate some feelings of guilt they might have.  

I told her, “No; I don’t want it, because small people aren’t worth being paid for what they do.”  

She got mad at what I said and tore the check up and said she was going to do the same to the picture when she got home.  

She went on relating that she wished the school art teacher hadn’t talked her into getting me to work in oils and she was going to tell her so. With that she turned and left.

Boy that was news. The teacher had been trying to get me to do some portraits but I didn’t want to do them because of having to please the people I would be painting.  

She had managed to get me to paint by using Jessie as a go between.  

 

While thinking about this whole mess an idea occurred to me.

 

I should begin to paint portraits but I should paint them the way people want to look instead of the way they do look.

 

FIVE AND ONE HALF Chapter 3

He traded his bike for a computer

 

There was a rich family not far from where I lived and their son who was about my age liked my bike and wanted it. He took it from me several times and rode it.  

He had been given a computer for his birthday but didn’t like it. It was just too hard to learn to make use of it.

 

He wanted to trade the computer for my bike but I was afraid his parents would be mad about the trade and blame me for talking him into doing it. 

Then one day he said he finally got them to say it was alright to make the trade so I carried my computer home piece by piece and set it up.

 

A few days later the boy I traded with had an accident, wrecking the bike and sold it back to me for very little.  

It set in the back of the garage for several months until I got enough money to fix it up.

Meanwhile I was enjoying my nearly new computer and was saving up for some graphic software. By the time I was thirteen I had bought a cheaper version of a graphics program and was getting good at using it.  

My math improved along with it.  I guess there was some connection between them.  My teachers began to treat me a little better as I improved my grades.  

With my art skills, I began to work with oils and was doing mostly landscapes until one of the girls a class ahead of me wanted me to do a portrait of her. 

I told her I wasn’t into that kind of art, but I could do a sketch of her and use some colored pencils which would add some character overall. 

“No, no,” she said “I want you to do me in oils,” and was insistent that I do so.  

I gave it one last try to discourage her by saying I would do it but she would have to sit for me nude while I painted.  

She gave me a strange look and I said, “I need to see the whole of you to get the right perspective.”  

She said, “Okay can we start right now,” and started to remove her blouse.  

I shouted at her, “STOP,  - - I was only teasing.”  

She gave me a wry smile and said, “Don’t ask for something unless you really want it, can we start?”  

I was still breathing hard but said, “I will draw a sketch and then get the oils I need and some canvas.  I need to know how big you want it to be. I would recommend twenty four by twenty which will give a rectangular look which would be nice and take away the square look.”  

She said that will be fine but let’s get started for I have to leave pretty soon.  

I grabbed my artist pad and drew a quick sketch adding emphasis and shadows’ where I thought it would be necessary.

 

When she saw it she wanted to keep it and I told she could have it after I finished with it.  

Though she was only one grade above me she stood a head taller than me, but I kinda liked her. 

 

I thought if she liked me she could stoop down when we kissed.  

Then I come to myself and realized that would never happen, but fantasizing about it was fun anyway.

 To Be Continued